That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for September 10, 2024

/// The Vice Admiral, Aert van Nes,

grimly points to his head to confess

he had sailed far from home

without spare brush or comb

and his hair is a thick tangled mess.

“Who’s got two hands and a phallic representation in one of them? THIS GUY!”

I thought it was going to be another “Great moment in Phallic History”

“Take this and whack me right here. It stops me from stuttering when I speak.”

Chart? nah I don’t need to plot our course on a chart. I’ve got it all right up here.

Why yes, it is a new hairstyle. I call it the Gene Simmons bouffant, and it is impervious to rain, wind, fire and groupies.

That tiller he holds in his hand/

looks like it could never withstand/

The withering blast/

Of a dying man’s last/

breath: he’d best stay on land…///

Portrait of a Guy Pointing to Where Rats Nest in His Wig

“…only his hairdresser knows for sure!”

“You call that a cigar? That’s not a cigar! This is a cigar!

The captain and his daily ballet lesson…learning how to pirouette ..

“See this, I’m lookin’ at you!”

I look at mezelf en say “Wat is dat hier?”

“Dat is mijn hoofd-knaller, ja mama dear.”

Hoofd-knaller, ja mama dear, dat’s wat ik heb geleerd op de school.

♫ If you want my body and you think I’m sexy / Come on, sugar, tell me so / If you really need me, just reach out and touch me /Come on, honey, tell me so ♫

Aert van Nes (1626-1693), Vice Admiral: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Portraits with globes" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, and DuckDuckGo search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string SK-A-140, and click its link for info and links that point to more info (perhaps best viewed using the Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox browsers, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) about this large painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3372 (September 10, 2024) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to the blog entry with my comment pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 7 works by him have been used here, the March 1, 2024, strip being the prior.

Portrait of Heer van Plugge in a Strong Wind

I’m a trifle deaf in this ear. Speak a little louder next time.

“I didn’t hear what you said. My stick is what kind of object?”

“You know that guy … you know … he’s a bit…”

“It’s true, folks. Wine goes right to my head. But only here on the Port-side. Get it? This is the port-side, and the other is the starboard-side. Of my head. No? You know ‘Port’ is a type of wine, right? You didn’t know that? Geez, you’re a tough audience.”

(17th Century product placement)

“The shampoo I prefer is by Breck,

and it leaves my hair softer than heck”

Said Admiral Van Nes

“and if I make a mess

I can use it to swab the poopdeck!”