Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for October 11, 2024

So it wasn’t the Stoned Age?

Maybe also because, as shown in the Far Side awhile ago, the field experiments kept killing test subjects.

Don’t forget having people dance to a kitschy tune.

Does this mean that primitive tribes have really advanced marketing?

S-o-o-o-o-o Market testing comes before road testing?

H-m-m-m-m, sounds familiar.

Brings back the old advertising saw from early days, i.e., sell the sizzle, not the steak.

Next; How can we make it a subscription service?

They were looking to market to that demographic. Given life expectancy, that’s the middle aged market. Should be going for the 12-18 range

Oh, heavens. Just roll with it.

The most important invention was the axel. It’s what made the wheel worth something.

Maybe it’s not what you think.

A man from Mars landed on Second Avenue and looked into a store window, fascinated.

Finally, he entered the shop and asked the owner:

“What are those little wheels in the window?”

“Wheels? What wheels?”

The Martian pointed.

“Those aren’t wheels.” The owner smiled.

“They’re called bagels . . . we eat them . . . Here, try one.”

The Martian bit into the bagel and smacked his lips,

“Man, these would go great with lox and a schmear.”

- Leo Rosten The New Joys Of Yiddish

In the Paleolithic era approximately 75% of deaths were caused by infection, including diarrheal diseases that resulted in dehydration and starvation. Life expectancy was approximately 33 years of age. This explains why the marketing department has always been traditionally useless.

That demographic drastically reduced the size of the wheel and placed them on skateboards!

That they were stoned didn’t help either…

There’s always an Over-Thinker, ahead of his Time: “It’s called ‘a letter’. It will be used to describe our speech, and used in ‘writing’. All we need to do is come up with other appropriate letter shapes. Just because we’re Stone Age folks, we’re not necessarily stupid.”

It takes tech to make newer tech. And when the only tools you have are rocks progress comes slowly.

The Flintstones made it work!

Appeal to the 18 – 34 demographic – tell them their parents are trying to get it banned.

I’m surprised nobody mentioned Hitchhiker’s Guide, where the Fire Development Sub-Committee holds off on inventing fire because they aren’t sure how to market it, and won’t invent the wheel till they figure out what color it should be.