Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for October 23, 2024

Do you mind if I ask you a few questions because I know a candidate who would like to court you.

Oh, me?? I’m a single, middle-aged, female ballbuster. You?

He’s only after her statistics.

One thing that amazes me about opinion polls is how many people they can find who have no opinion.

Actually.. a successful pollster is a pretty smooth individual.. has to be honest and genuine, be able to admit that yes it will take more than a minute lol and that no there isnt any compensation for it.. has to be personable and have a sense of humor and be the kind of person you trust enough to tell them what you think and the kind of person you enjoy talking to.For some bizarre reason, as shy as i was normally, i shone in my pollstering days lol but the jobs were easy… like calling them up and asking them what they would like to see on their public broadcasting television programming! i mean who wouldnt want to answer those kinds of questions!!

Before he spoke, she was undecided, but now she’s certain she wants nothing to do with him.

I’m conducting a poll, would you like to take my poll?

Marginally worse than, “Hey, Lovely, haven’t I seen you here before ….. 2020 to be exact?”

A bit tipsy, and therefore using a wide margin of error, he said, “Poll my finger.”

Other than the bartender, they are the only two people in the place, what do he or she got to lose? John Mellencamp, “It’s a Lonely Old Night”.

Depends on the purpose of your poll. If it’s about Buttercup, no comment that won’t burn your ears.

I don’t think he will be checking her boxes.

The frightening thing about recent elections is the daily reliance on “polls.” Whose polls? Where are they conducted? How many people were surveyed and where and when? Were specific groups targeted or ignored? Were the questions unbiased or did they ask leading or loaded questions?

Polls without specific context [who conducted them; where and when they were conducted; who comprised the survey group; what was the purpose of the poll] are meaningless. I may be asking the questions in my classroom or grocery story. Also, writing appropriate poll questions is both an art and a science — some are written just to find out people’s personal opinions; others are written to manipulate and change people’s opinions.

That’s why massive polling can be dangerous — people believe “the polls” and that can change their behavior, persuading them that masses of people believe one thing or another; encouraging them to vote or to not vote. In a way, it is sort of like inciting a mob.

“Smooth move Exlax.”

I either don’t answer or lie to pollsters.

“SLAP! Got it…”

What in the world is he drinking?

Do you

a – like me

b – mildly dislike me

c – next question?

(Weird parsing kink in GoComics. It interprets “b” followed by a period as a boldface command.)