Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for November 02, 2024

Well, this has certainly been a Halloween “Crankshaft” readers will never forget…no matter how much they try.

Just to sum up: the power is back on (we never saw what the problem was), the decorations are up (we never saw them hung), and what was supposed to be a story-writing contest devolved into Boy Lisa drawing a quintet of humor-free comic book covers (all complete with company logo and price, for some reason). Of course, there were no customers or even trick-or-treaters at Mopey Montoni’s. And zero appearances by the guy the strip is named after.

Maybe now we can find out if Eugene is still rowing in the middle of the lake, or if he collided with Gendry, who was rowing in the opposite direction.

Don’t worry, Generic Blonde character! Tomorrow the Doublenut Twins will shows up and paint over all this mess, causing it to have never happened. It will be Batiuk’s unconscious (how else?) tribute to Robert Heinlein’s fantasy short story “The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag.”

I want to ask the PBM how he breathes inside that unventilated stack of cartons and watch him retroactively die of asphyxiation.

Whews. Thanks goodnesses. If one more of em sideways and me woulda needs neck surgery for sure.

A halloween sans any customers is best halloween eh. How these clowns even stay in business?

Time to put away your 45 year old elementary classroom decorations.

Bring back Cranky now!!!

Good thing I forgot about it already.

Well at least I can start reading this one again…

Abandoning Crankshaft is starting to be its own punishment.

Judging by the ghost in the background, even the decorations hated this week’s story arc.

Did Crank celebrate Halloween???

Ed burned down his block and incinerated six trick-or-treaters while trying to light the candle in his pumpkin. With his Bean’s End flame thrower, of course.

In other words, a typical Crankshaft Halloween, not worth Batty’s attention.

Worst Halloween-themed narrative in the history of comics.

PBM is a real Pollyanna.

How was Cranky’s Halloween?

for old times sake eh me neck

pizzabox monster they havent served the wedding cake yet at mary worths hurry up

In the little town of Centerville, Halloween had come and gone, leaving behind a chill that wasn’t just in the air but in the hearts of its people. Sheriff Jack Smith had seen the darkness that had crept in, a darkness sown by a man who believed only in his own power, who wielded lies like weapons and poisoned good people with fear. But now that the evil politician and his minions were gone, Jack could feel something else stirring—a fragile, hopeful stillness.

As he walked the quiet streets, Jack thought about what it meant to truly protect a town. It wasn’t just about locking up criminals or patrolling at night. It was about cultivating kindness, encouraging trust, and reminding people that they were bound together by more than just geography. Centerville was a small town, but it was one filled with people who, deep down, wanted peace. They had been led astray by whispers of hate, but hate had no roots here, and Jack knew that with time, the townspeople could find their way back to each other.

When he reached Montoni’s Pizza, Jack found the place lively with laughter and bright with decorations. The townsfolk had gathered, eager to share in each other’s company, to reclaim their town with joy and celebration. Jeff, Cody, Summer, and the Pizza Box Monster greeted him with smiles, and for the first time in what felt like years, Jack smiled too.

“It’s been a Halloween we’ll never forget,” Cody said, and Jack nodded, feeling the truth of it.

As he stood there, surrounded by his neighbors, Jack understood that evil could visit any place, but it could never make a home here. Not as long as people believed in each other, stood together, and defended what was good. Centerville would heal; the scars would fade. And as Sheriff Jack Smith looked around, he felt a warmth that chased away the chill.

They had faced the darkness, and they had won, not with fists or fear, but with courage and unity. In Centerville, at least for now, peace had found a home.

So they all came together to put up the decorations. Apparently that was during the day on Halloween, because the power went out, they sat around, and now Halloween’s over. So are they just going to un-decorate now?

Now pretend that, after their “ghost stories”, they engaged in a five-way orgy. The dialogue makes at least as much sense, probably more, that way.

(Of course, then you have to imagine Mopey and the Pizza Monster… sorry, I think I just made myself sick…)

Carving pumpkins is preferable to murdering evergreen trees,

Hey! The comic’s not loading! Of course, this little blue question mark is better than anything else in Funky Winkerbean this week.

Sheesh, without Crankshaft……boo!

Customer comes in.

“Wow, you guys still have all your decorations up? Halloween was two days ago!”

Has the pizza monster ever disclosed his/her identity?

Why is this ‘toon still called ’Crankshaft’ if he’s never allowed onstage?

Who made me say that? This was not the best Halloween ever. It was the worst for me. Why couldn’t I just scare people with my ridiculous outfit?

Finally one I can read