That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for October 30, 2024

/// With his ‘scope aimed at ships passing by,

Royal Navy Commander would spy.

Lady Gwen’s craft came nigh,

she caught Elliot’s eye

in her bathing attire (flashing thigh).

My, what a large gun you have

“Well I did promise to show you the sites.”

Yes, I am a son of a gun. I was conceived on this very spot.

He s a lowly Lieutenant Commander:/

She’s the admirals wife – he must pander /

to the miserable $känk /

if he hopes to earn rank/

(In all candor, he scarcely can stand her !)

Would you like to see some rope tricks?

No, Admiral, I don’t believe I have ever seen a sporran like that….

“You said your love for me was the maximum.”

“No I said my love was to the Maxim.”

… What will we do with a drunken sailor?

What will we do with a drunken sailor?

What will we do with a drunken sailor?

Early in the morning!

… Way hay and up she rises

Way hay and up she rises

Way hay and up she rises

Early in the morning!

… Shine his ‘scope with a maiden’s virtue

Shine his ‘scope with a maiden’s virtue

Shine his ‘scope with a maiden’s virtue

Early in the morning!

“Well, if the ships don’t interest you, let me show the newest thing we’re working on. It’s called a ‘submarine’”

Don’t be silly, dear. Of course I don’t have a girl in every port! Just a few.

Would you like to see my gun? (This is my rifle, this is my gun…..)

Don’t give me that ship’s captain crap, I saw you at the hotel last night and know you’re the doorman

oooh, and its shiny! Are you sure it won’t go off if I touch it like this?

“What a lovely bell skirt, my dear … may I ring your clapper?”

Of course it will fit, I’m a port girl.

Never on Sunday…

No thanks!

“Haven’t you noticed? Just one little touch turns me on, my dear!”

Our cruises have gotten a lot more exciting since we mounted this Vickers machine gun on the rail.

“It fires blanks, just like me! How ’bout it?”

“In two minutes the men on that frigate over there will all go skinny-dipping. I watch them every day at this time.”

“Not to disturb this exquisite profession of your love for me ….. but ….. who is steering the ship?”

“Up periscope”, she said.

Off Duty: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Women wearing dresses in art" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, and DuckDuckGo search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string Duty, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size, color print. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3401 (October 30, 2024) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .jpg from the URL). It is one of 51 works, so far, that have been used here with initially no or current unknown attribution, the November 6, 2023, strip being the prior.

The guy needs a circumcision. One little snip at the end there.

You know, I just don’t think this qualifies.

please say yes, these chains are very i got to hold it up somehow.

“All the WRENs call me maxim gun.”“Because of your impressive weapon?”“No, it’s because I’m usually all out after a minutes use!”

“I inquired as to the caliber of your character sir; not that of your ‘weapon’”.

Too bad he forgot to bring quarters for the telescope.

After you put your hands on your hips; you then bring your knees in tight. Those are the rules.

This must be from the late 1890’s or early 1900’s since the Maxim machine gun went into use then. Also, the woman’s dress appears to date from that period.