Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for November 18, 2024

Those brothers-in-law could have gone a lot further if they would have gotten into the cars and drove them.

The next day, John and James were able to persuade their sister/wife, Suze Orman, to budget some money for gasoline.

I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.

I said, “A folding bottle.”

She said, “Okay. What do you call it?”

“A Fottle.” I replied.

“What else do you have?” she asked.

“A folding carton.” I said.

“What do you call it?”

“A Farton.” was my reply.

She snickered and said, “Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude.”

I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket.

Uphill? Or downhill?

Well the spend their driving day turning left. That’s it.

That NASCAR driver looks like more like one of those power rangers. BTW, I see plenty of drivers when I do go out on the road that should be racing in NASCAR and have their licenses’ revoked.

It was 33 miles to home. They almost made it.

John and James should’ve paid attention to the “Last gas for 33 miles” sign.

John and James should try pulling those cars uphill in a snow storm, both ways

I was driving way before I had a Drivers License myself, not on the street, race tract. In NHRA and IHRA you won’t need a racing license until your car runs 9 seconds or quicker no matter what your age and you will need the signature of 3 other racers who have NHRA/IHRA licenses. This was years ago, the rules may have changed.

Take it to the nursing home pops.

So, I was sitting on the bus just reading a book when somebody tapped me on the shoulder.

I turned around and saw an old lady. She said to me, “Sonny, would you like some nuts? I’ve got a couple hazelnuts and almonds if you’d like.”

“Sure.” I replied. She gave me a handful of nuts and went back to sit with her friends.

“What a nice lady,” I thought, while happily munching on the nuts.

A few minutes later, I felt another tap on my shoulder and there she was again, offering some nuts. I gladly accepted and she went back to her seat.

After about 10 minutes, she tapped me on the shoulder, once again offering some nuts.

I asked her, “Why don’t you eat them yourself?”

“Because we’ve got no teeth.” she replied.

“Then why do you buy them?” I asked.

“Oh, because we just love the chocolate around them.”