Most autobiographies are fictionalised. As Ava Gardner put it in “Ava and Me” a very bad biography (bad because the “ghost” writer made it all about him not her): “I remember it the way I choose to remember it.” Or at least that’s what he said she said. The book really should have been called “ME and ava.”
And after it’s published, Calvin can expect numerous libel suits: Mom and Dad, Miss Wormwood, Susie, Roslyn—even Moe! Of course, Hobbes will be his attorney—unless he’s part of the lawsuit, too!
For an amusing fictional autobiography along the same lines as Calvin’s (but in movie form), watch Weird: The Al Yankovic Story starring Daniel Radcliffe.
The Spike Milligan Memoirs were my favourite. A small quote of his lunacy.
“At Victoria Station the R.T.O. gave me a travel warrant, a white feather and a picture of Hitler marked “This is your enemy.” I searched every compartment, but he wasn’t on the train. At 4.30, June 2nd, 1940, on a summer’s day all mare’s tails and blue sky we arrived at Bexhill-on-Sea, where I got off. It wasn’t easy. The train didn’t stop there.”
― Spike Milligan, Adolf Hitler: My Part in his Downfall
I know these are all repeats, but this feels like a repeat when this first was printed, being the week of Christmas and not being holiday-related at all.
I’m writing a fictional autobiography through a character I invented in the mysteries I am writing. It’s good fun to play God and punish my enemies over the years. My last one was a roman à clef for revenge on an ungrateful employer.
I have read many autobiographies and do not know how much fiction there is inside them.
One example I remember is Iron Eyes: The Life Of A Hollywood Indian by Iron Eyes Cody – an actor who started playing Native Americans in silent movies and continued into the 1970s and ’80s. He claimed throughout the book that he really was a Native American but I would later learn that he was really an Italian-American who became typecast as Native Americans. One photo in his book actually shows that he had Native American make-up put on him but he claimed in a caption underneath that Hollywood insisted on real Indians wearing make up as well as European-descended actors.
It is interesting that Calvin wants Hobbes to help him make up his life story. As I have often commented before, Bill Watterson stated of Hobbes in a 1989 interview, “I suspect he is more real than any kid would make up.” As Robert says, I often misquoted him as saying “could”. I have since accepted that Watterson did say “would make up”.
Anyhow, Hobbes is certainly more real than a kid would make up and is less flattering and respectful of Calvin than Calvin would like. Hobbes is likely to be very unflattering of Calvin in “helping” him with the fictional autobiography as he was very unflattering in writing about Calvin in the story which Calvin read out to the class in 1992 – unaware of what Hobbes had written until he read it out loud.
I used to have a bumper sticker that said “Be Nice to Me, Or You Might End Up In My Novel.” I have occasionally followed through on that threat.
A friend of mine tried to help a friend of hers through an ugly divorce by putting her horrible ex in one of her novels, then killing him off gruesomely. She ran into horrible ex at a party a couple of years later. He told her he’d loved the character and how he’d “gotten what he deserved.” The guy had no idea it was based on him.
dadthedawg Premium Member about 10 hours ago
A flame thrower would be the least of your many fictional accomplishments…..
orinoco womble about 10 hours ago
Most autobiographies are fictionalised. As Ava Gardner put it in “Ava and Me” a very bad biography (bad because the “ghost” writer made it all about him not her): “I remember it the way I choose to remember it.” Or at least that’s what he said she said. The book really should have been called “ME and ava.”
codycab about 10 hours ago
This is more like fanfiction but still, go for it, Calvin.
ninjanick101 about 10 hours ago
It’s too bad your parents won’t let you have one. :P
Liverlips McCracken Premium Member about 10 hours ago
Good reason.
lalapalooza Premium Member about 10 hours ago
so does Calvin know that Christmas hasn’t arrived yet? cupla more days.
snsurone76 about 9 hours ago
And after it’s published, Calvin can expect numerous libel suits: Mom and Dad, Miss Wormwood, Susie, Roslyn—even Moe! Of course, Hobbes will be his attorney—unless he’s part of the lawsuit, too!
Nuke Road Warrior about 9 hours ago
He will, of course, omit the “noodle incident.”
Jayalexander about 7 hours ago
Is this Elon"s kid?
evsxrk about 6 hours ago
For an amusing fictional autobiography along the same lines as Calvin’s (but in movie form), watch Weird: The Al Yankovic Story starring Daniel Radcliffe.
BigDaveGlass about 6 hours ago
The Spike Milligan Memoirs were my favourite. A small quote of his lunacy.
“At Victoria Station the R.T.O. gave me a travel warrant, a white feather and a picture of Hitler marked “This is your enemy.” I searched every compartment, but he wasn’t on the train. At 4.30, June 2nd, 1940, on a summer’s day all mare’s tails and blue sky we arrived at Bexhill-on-Sea, where I got off. It wasn’t easy. The train didn’t stop there.”
― Spike Milligan, Adolf Hitler: My Part in his Downfall
hornacek about 5 hours ago
I know these are all repeats, but this feels like a repeat when this first was printed, being the week of Christmas and not being holiday-related at all.
VegaAlopex about 5 hours ago
I’m writing a fictional autobiography through a character I invented in the mysteries I am writing. It’s good fun to play God and punish my enemies over the years. My last one was a roman à clef for revenge on an ungrateful employer.
Gent about 5 hours ago
Calvin the tiger riding cowboy with a flamethrower. Now me woulda likes to see that.
Calvinist1966 about 5 hours ago
I have read many autobiographies and do not know how much fiction there is inside them.
One example I remember is Iron Eyes: The Life Of A Hollywood Indian by Iron Eyes Cody – an actor who started playing Native Americans in silent movies and continued into the 1970s and ’80s. He claimed throughout the book that he really was a Native American but I would later learn that he was really an Italian-American who became typecast as Native Americans. One photo in his book actually shows that he had Native American make-up put on him but he claimed in a caption underneath that Hollywood insisted on real Indians wearing make up as well as European-descended actors.
Calvinist1966 about 4 hours ago
It is interesting that Calvin wants Hobbes to help him make up his life story. As I have often commented before, Bill Watterson stated of Hobbes in a 1989 interview, “I suspect he is more real than any kid would make up.” As Robert says, I often misquoted him as saying “could”. I have since accepted that Watterson did say “would make up”.
Anyhow, Hobbes is certainly more real than a kid would make up and is less flattering and respectful of Calvin than Calvin would like. Hobbes is likely to be very unflattering of Calvin in “helping” him with the fictional autobiography as he was very unflattering in writing about Calvin in the story which Calvin read out to the class in 1992 – unaware of what Hobbes had written until he read it out loud.
ComicKing456 Premium Member about 4 hours ago
I bet he also has a 9 million dollar mansion.
sandpiper about 3 hours ago
Given Cal’s ‘excitable’ nature, it could be a top seller on the comics market.
rockyridge1977 about 3 hours ago
…….sounds like a thriller too!!!!!!!!!
baskate_2000 about 3 hours ago
Words fail me.
royq27 about 3 hours ago
Always knew something was missing from my youth…
Redd Panda about 3 hours ago
…and a Bazooka!
T577 Brown Bunny/Vegetable Patch 62 about 3 hours ago
Winnipeg Jets like throwing Calgary Flames that are lighter than a WOLF.
CountOlaf2.0 Premium Member about 3 hours ago
Can hardly wait for the parts about Spaceman Spliff!! Sure to be a #1 Bestseller. The Count has pre ordered on Amazon already.
strick9 about 3 hours ago
I write banned books
grocks about 2 hours ago
And a chainsaw?
rshive about 2 hours ago
And Calvin’s rather dorky parents won’t but him a flame thrower.
ladykat about 2 hours ago
Trust Calvin to come up with that!
Angry Indeed Premium Member about 2 hours ago
“The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" has already been written!
Malph about 2 hours ago
Touché! I’d have bazookas on my truck for poor drivers.
JD_Rhoades about 2 hours ago
I used to have a bumper sticker that said “Be Nice to Me, Or You Might End Up In My Novel.” I have occasionally followed through on that threat.
A friend of mine tried to help a friend of hers through an ugly divorce by putting her horrible ex in one of her novels, then killing him off gruesomely. She ran into horrible ex at a party a couple of years later. He told her he’d loved the character and how he’d “gotten what he deserved.” The guy had no idea it was based on him.
mfrasca about 2 hours ago
My six-year old daughter loved Calvin and Hobbes. After reading this strip she promptly added “flame thrower” to her Christmas list for Santa.
To this day, she insists that she was only joking.
Steverino Premium Member about 1 hour ago
I always thought an autobiography is a story about your car.
Steverino Premium Member about 1 hour ago
Sounds like hysterical fiction to me.
Calvins Brother 41 minutes ago
and a death ray.
curtlyon19 27 minutes ago
I’ve wanted a flame thrower a time or two
mistercatworks 18 minutes ago
“And I’m fireproof.”
lnrokr55 1 minute ago
So Calvin, just another day right ??? ;-)