Bloom County by Berkeley Breathed for May 08, 2010

Oh, goodness! I just realized: I don’t have a Turnip Twaddler! …Opus, could you spare a friend a Turnip Twaddler? You’ve got lots….

They can also be used to twaddle parsnips, whole beets, even rutabagas! Very handy.

The last must have device doubled as a yogurt squirter. Now, that was money well spent. Twaddling, not so much.

….But wait there’s MORE……

Now I have a new euphemism. “That just twaddles my turnips!”

GROAN

Please please Santa Claus, I need a twaddler. I’ll be good next year.

Twaddle me this, Penguin.

Is shipping and handling extra?

extra!! Heck, it’s mandatory!

methinks someone needed to cancel Opus’ credit cards…

SIGH - we seem to be having either site or browser issues today - sorry for the multipost!

1,000 Turnip Twaddlers at 2.95 each—$2,950 S&H for each Twaddler $7.95————–$7,950 Grand Total————————————$10,900

Note: All Twaddlers will be shipped in one carton.

summer re-run? is this the one where he hides in the closet from the fudd-ups guy?

Found the issue - sorry again for double posts - ‘twas a setting I forgot to reset….

Can I do it until I need glasses?

From Ronco, no doubt. And what about the “act now and you’ll receive another useless gadget” schpeil?

If Opus saw a Billy Mays ad, he would buy the mighty putty or oxy clean, or whatever before he got to the part where he’s like “But WAIT!!! There’s More! If You call RIGHT NOW, you’ll get a FOURTH set, ABSOLUTELY FREE!!! I don’t think that the cartoon “Opus” ever mentioned Billy Mays.

and there are those who just plain shouldn’t watch tv ads anymore.

Order today and get another one for free…

I remember the days when I would use this argument to TRY to convince Mom to get one. Opus and young teenagers have one thing in common…no willpower.

I see our spammer is back.

1,000 turnip twaddlers: $29,000. Shipping and handling: $500. Realizing that you don’t even like turnips: Priceless.

There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s a high-interest credit card.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PS: Flagged the spammer.

Is the spammer here ironic or real?

Or both? (LOST moment.)

Shipping is extra. Even more so for two day delivery

But wait, if you order now we’ll double the offer. Just pay shiping and hadleling. Call now.

And how, exactly, would one go about twaddling ones turnip? Sounds kinky…

It slices and dices too, although the twaddler function is inoperable during these operations……I remembered turnip twaddler for lord knows how many years…I thought I may be the only one….glad to know there are others who remember such pointless crap.