MythTickle by Justin Thompson for October 31, 2011

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    Mihir Asher  about 13 years ago

    Hey, Vegans are just as bad as us meat eaters!

    After all, plants are living things too … if you plant a store bought potato, you get a potato plant! So that means that when you skin the potato and put it in a vat of boiling oil, you are doing it to a thing that is still living!

    At least we meat eaters kill our food before cooking them …

    And eating a fruit … you eat it, then you throw the seeds away instead of planting them … you thus kill all those poor seeds that would have otherwise grown up into plants of their own!

    It like cutting out the womb of a pregnant cow, throwing away the foetus and eating just the womb while leaving the cow alive!

    So to conclude, meat is death … but plants are also living things … you vegans and vegetarians are killing plants! What’s worse, you are living in a state of denial!

    And we need plants now more than ever!

    So show your love for the plants …

    EAT MEAT!!!!

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    John W. Vinson Premium Member about 13 years ago

    Hey, you don’t have to attack us vegetarians. It’s the humanitarians you have to watch out for!

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    Sisyphos  about 13 years ago

    The incomparable Fredric Brown’s ultra-short story take on this (just over one page), “Blood,” first appeared in F&SF in 1954 and was reprinted in his 1958 anthology, Honeymoon in Hell which I still have on my SciFi shelf. Cf. http://tinyurl.com/3j3u4lf

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    Dkram  about 13 years ago

    Omnivores, equal opportunity eaters..\\//_

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    BlueRaven  about 13 years ago

    Veganism: proof you care more about cows and chickens than the immigrants who pick your vegetables.

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    reverence  about 13 years ago

    BlueRaven-I care about all living things.

    Woefull prose very well done, Justin.

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    mjmsprt40  about 13 years ago

    People Eating Tasty Animals, Unite!!!

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    celeconecca  about 13 years ago

    See – OTHERS know about getting blood from a turnip! I wasn’t just pulling a comment out of my hat last week! Justin, I’m tickled (obviously) to see how you ended this fun arc!

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    Justin Thompson creator about 13 years ago

    I will never understand such defensiveness and offense taken over this kind of thing. Here’s this poor little mixed-up vampire dude, in a comedy situation that was made up by me just for pure irony, and now I see I’ve ruined some people’s day just by mentioning veganism. See, vampires eat flesh and blood and I thought if a vampire was squeamish about such things it’d be funny. Is it the “concern up” line? Well hell, YOU try figuring out what rhymes with turnip! There’s nothing wrong with vegetarians, they are no threat to you. Trust me.

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    rob9108  about 13 years ago

    Justin, You really are amazing! Happy Halloween!

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    bmonk  about 13 years ago

    Poor vamp—steak popsicles? Actually, if he drinks blood, he need not kill any animals—or plants.Maybe a few billion bacteria, give or take. But not on purpose.

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    broncosdaddy  about 13 years ago

    hey Justin, I really enjoyed the veggie vamp…I just don’t understand why it set so many peeps off about their eating habits…the beauty of it all is that we are all free to eat what we want when we want, here in America…God bless the USA and I hope you and the famdamily have a very Happy Halloween :)

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    Miserichord  about 13 years ago

    The population explosion can be laid at the feet on one group.Doctors!Women surviving multiple childbirths, children living long enough to reproduce, lack of mass epidemics to diminish urban populations are all due to medical science.

    Thank God for doctors!

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