Frazz by Jef Mallett for March 19, 2012

What do you get when you cross an arborist with a lumberjack? Beats tree.

Please tell me you all can do better.

This comes from left field, doesn’t it? Frazz is known for condescend smugness, not sense of humor.

You go, Frazz…But, maybe you should call your friend Ann Arbor, (You know where she lives..)…..She might be able to help…..

Frazz could go out of his tree trying to think of an arborist joke.

Old arborists never die… they just pine fir ever?

Hmmm… I was trying to think of an old chestnut I could spruce up a little…. but maybe I’d better leave before you all get sycamore….

Sounds a little like Oliver Goldsmith’s “grouse in the gun room” joke.

And about 450 miles from Vulcan!

The arborist married a genealogist because of her family tree.

Why didn’t he save this one for 6 weeks from now?

…he liked to trees the masses…

“I am Roger. Roger the shrubber.”

If any of you happens to be in Ann Arbor, say hello to Yang the Nauseating for me.

Comics are getting arboreal.

I may pine away trying to think of an arborist joke.

These jokes are bad… I’m leaf-ing.

^ The jokes may be bad but no one has made an ash of themselves yet.

Don’t get stumped, Frazz; I’ll go out on a limb and say I’m a sap for tree jokes!

Just like when Ted Baxter decided there should be a knock-knock joke about Anna Maria Alberghetti.

Two unemployed Irishmen were walking down the road when they say a sign that said “Tree Fellers Wanted”One turned to the other and said “It’s a pity Patty ain’t here or we could all get jobs”

~ Have they figured out why the arborist fell out of the tree?~ Frayed knot.

Hear about the arborist that lost his job?He wouldn’t go out on a limb….(que the moans)

Miserchord, Shakiin’ Jake is gone now too… Bacon and eggs, bacon and eggs….My baby cooks me bacon and eggs…

I had to divorce an arborist, to much graft(ing).

If you go far enough north from Hell, you go beyond Bliss, and if you cross the bridge, you can get to Paradise easily….

An arborist is like a Chicago politician, too much grafting.

Yes , Paradise, much closer to Vulcan!

What do you call… a tree trimmer at U of M?… or… a wolverine up a tree? Too lame, I know! I hope Frazz is going to tell us the joke tomorrow, and not just leave us hanging.

Pschearer, my sweet — thank you! …but if I am your love why do you never come back and see that I’ve answered you? :(

And Arianne…. OK, what do you call them?

I misread the word the first time, and thought he was doing a Trudeau…

“Did you hear about the arborist?”“Why, no… What about the arborist?”" ’e ’ad to batten down the ’atches before the ’urricane ’it…"

An arborist goes into a bar. “Drinks for everyone, my treet!”

I woodn’t put it past Frazz to come up with a really sappy one.

A whole new branch of humour