Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for March 02, 2012
Transcript:
news of the times mitt romney admits: "i am a corporation" after the discovery of certain massachusetts state filings, presidential hopeful mitt romney was forced into a startling admission: mitt: corporations are people, my friends! and i should know; i'm a corporate american! reporter: so you are fictional person, a legal entity devised by corporate registration? mitt: yes, no one noticed, but things pass right through me. i'm totally insubstantial. experts agree this explains his impossibly perfect corporate appearance. mitt: ...and my shifting positions! my shareholders voted in a new board of directors four years ago. it also explains his utter inability to relate to actual humans. mitt: ha-ha! i, too, like burritos to ingest! ha-ha! i'm laughing with you. i'd like to fire you. the c.e.o. of willard mitt romney, inc.: ceo: look, a corporation running for president was inevitable. it cuts out the middleman. romney, inc. pressed on in its campaign. mitt: this country needs fewer regulations! they harm corporations merely to benefit humans! wait, not humans! i meant washington insiders! i like humans! president obama was quick to triangulate, going after the pro-corporate vote. obama: i'll cut the corporate tax rate even further! and i'm considering merging myself with goldman sachs.
jnik23260 almost 13 years ago
Bolling plays no favorites.
pbarnrob almost 13 years ago
They just might, if you become less useful…
V-Beast almost 13 years ago
“And in the mornings I like to ingest chicken embryos.”
babka Premium Member almost 13 years ago
right on! thank you for nailing this. A corporation should have a better hairdresser, though. the white sideburns and the dyed dark hair doesn’t make for a very human (or corporate) look.
JoeStrike almost 13 years ago
“I’m totally insubstantial.” …truer words were never spoken. Thank you, Ruben!
ianrey almost 13 years ago
Gotta admit, it explains a lot. “The trees are just the right height” interrobang!? No human would say that.
Possum Pete almost 13 years ago
Merging with Sachs would make him an even bigger Sack.
pschearer Premium Member almost 13 years ago
Corporations have all the rights of the people who compose them. The same for labor unions, political parties, the Boy Scouts, the Philadelphia Orchestra, and every other voluntary combination of people. Hating corporations is just another of the many ways Leftists oppose rights.
mercmarc almost 13 years ago
can an intern have sexual relations with a corporation?
CasualBrowser almost 13 years ago
That’s the CEO of Willard Mitt Romney, Inc? But, I thought Jesse Helms was dead…..
CasualBrowser almost 13 years ago
He thought no one would recognize him without his glasses….
Anarcissie almost 13 years ago
The people who compose a corporation have and retain their rights. They can’t donate them to a legal fiction, any more than they can donate them to a machine.
androgenoide almost 13 years ago
You’ve chosen to mention some of the positions that I referred to by the phrase “to be considered when they have something to offer.” Most of these positions have been considered by society at large and adopted and are therefore, hardly left wing positions any more. There are some holdouts on the abortion issue but I expect pragmatism to win in the end.
Chuck Norton almost 13 years ago
If corporations have the equivalent rights of individual citizens, then they should be subject to the same laws that govern citizens. They should be subject to income taxes, property taxes, sales taxes, jury duty, imprisonment for felonies, prohibiton of the right to vote if convicted of certain felonies, etc.
fritzoid Premium Member almost 13 years ago
“I am still wondering which leftist positions ‘should not be taken seriously on a regular basis’?”
Well, there’s “Let’s abolish all inheritance of wealth and property”; that one probably shouldn’t be taken seriously. At least, nobody ever does when I propose it…
androgenoide almost 13 years ago
Perhaps it would make more sense to you if I were to rephrase that and simply say that you shouldn’t automatically accept an idea just because it comes from the Left (or the Right). Not every idea is well-thought out simply because it’s popular at the moment.
On the other hand, if you should ever feel that you, as a progressive, are being shunned or persecuted, you can console yourself with the thought that most of the well-considered progressive ideas eventually become standard, middle-of-the-road ideas… it’s just a matter of time. I believe that’s what R.A. Wilson meant when he said that a man can go from being a liberal to a conservative in just thirty years without ever changing an idea.
songbird44 Premium Member almost 13 years ago
New to the strip, but I think I’m in love with Ruben for using the semicolon correctly in panel 1 :)