Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for June 05, 2024

“Hey, DoorMat, how old are you? You’ve only told us FOUR TIMES IN THREE DAYS! Also, your cake is just melted candle wax now.” MATTY: “I’m 94!”

(massive fire begins; Crank pumps his fist as he laughs and shoves people into it) ED: “And now—THE BURNINGS! AHHAHA”

You know you’re a Plugger if you’re a sociopathic pyromaniac!

Lookit that cake! Candles are the new bricks!

And the reason why (minus the references to being 94) Ed couldn’t have been interviewed and made these quips himself is…?

Draaaaag it out.

Better keeps ancient relic in museum before it gets breaken eh.

Panel 1: That’s a really nice hellscape there..

Which one of the characters is Gus To?

Trying to land on something soft(er)?

good job Tom and Dan — ignore the naysayers — funny stuff

At Matty’s age, I’m surprised he doesn’t hire a “Pinch hit runner/slider” for his moves in baseball. Then Matty could just do the walking (the bases) and batting.

I remember Gusto! Played with the Hackensack Mud Ducks for two seasons! We used to shout, “No way, José!” every time he got up!

Softball fields do not have a grass infield.

It’s a thought.

Is Pete Rose related to Matty? How many of today’s players hustle on every play like Charlie Hustle did?

…….was he safe or out???

mary worth told wilber he should join a choir can you see a future with dingle and wilber ?

Chinese Home Runs an elderly specialty

Uh, Danny Boy? Two things:

First, if you’re going to draw the ball field, shouldn’t there be players from THE OTHER TEAM on it?

And second, there are NO BASELINES between first and second base, nor between second and third base.

The saying goes don’t whip a dead horse………

So they’re doing this whole interview as his candles burn?

Not funny since my mother broke her hip and she’s not 90 and then on top of that needed a heart monitor put in her after that. I need to call her.

I wonder how many times they’ve put new lit candles on that cake? It must be a solid sheet of wax on the top by now.