The fact that the pizza box monster is now a part owner of Montoni’s and has speaking parts in terrible storylines is somehow only the 4th worst development in Funky Winkerbean this year is shocking.
So…it looks like when Batiuk ended Funky Winkerbean, he was literally ending the character Funky Winkerbean. Almost everyone else has shown up in Crankshaft at some point. Hell, I would be surprised if Bull Bushka makes an appearance…
Yes, I’m still around after all. Keep me here full time, give the people what they want! Then we can retitle this strip, “Pizza Box Monster (With the Occasional Crankshaft Cameo)”
“It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.”
It was one of those nights you only read about in Stephen King novels or whispered of in the macabre verses of Edgar Allan Poe. The storm outside raged, a tempest of rain and lightning that struck the town of Westview with the force of a beast trying to break free from the sky. Montoni’s Pizza, usually a warm haven of laughter and the scent of fresh dough, now sat cold and silent, its lights snuffed out by the storm’s vicious hand.
Inside, Darwin, Summer, and Cody sat frozen in the darkness, still clutching the decorations they had been hanging for the Halloween party. The wind howled like some forgotten creature as the thunder roared, rattling the windows. Cody, ever the pragmatist, began fumbling in the dark, searching for a flashlight or a candle—anything to push back the creeping shadows.
But what they didn’t know—what none of them could have foreseen—was that something far more sinister lurked outside. This was no ordinary storm. The evil politician, the one who had whipped the town into a frenzy and nearly razed Lillian’s bookstore for daring to sell Fahrenheit 451, was watching. He had been chased out of town by angry citizens weeks before, but now he had returned. Twisted by hatred and self-righteousness, his mind was consumed with malice, his heart as shriveled as his soul.
Lightning flashed, and for a brief moment, Cody thought he saw a figure standing outside, barely visible through the sheets of rain. His heart raced as the words from an old radio show echoed in his mind: Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows.
The darkness pressed in tighter, as the politician plotted his revenge—a horror beyond what anyone in that small town could imagine. And Montoni’s Pizza, the heart of Westview, was about to become ground zero for his next act of terror.
Bill Thompson 2 days ago
That lightning bolt came nowhere near them! God is one lousy shot.
J.J. O'Malley 2 days ago
Ya know, Mopey, if you don’t pay your utility bills you have to expect this sort of thing to happen.
billsplut 2 days ago
WE HAVE A NEW RECORD! We have FOUR punchlines, not a single one of which is identifiable as a joke!
sbenton7684 2 days ago
We might also have an electrical fire too…
Bill Thompson 2 days ago
Why is Mopey’s shirt blue? Did the green mold die?
red_tape 2 days ago
If the hilarity here is too much, the New Adventures of Queen Victoria has some new posts, after a 20 month or so hiatus…
Argythree 2 days ago
Well, so much for pizza… um, where’s, you know, Cranky?
Gent 2 days ago
Ha ha. The power is out. And you suppose to say that. Comedy gold see. It’s called right thing.
Fetzee 2 days ago
Wheeeerrre’s Crankshaft?
French Persons Premium Member 2 days ago
When is the mob showing up to burn down the pizza shop?
Cabbage Jack 2 days ago
The fact that the pizza box monster is now a part owner of Montoni’s and has speaking parts in terrible storylines is somehow only the 4th worst development in Funky Winkerbean this year is shocking.
ComicsDad5 2 days ago
So…it looks like when Batiuk ended Funky Winkerbean, he was literally ending the character Funky Winkerbean. Almost everyone else has shown up in Crankshaft at some point. Hell, I would be surprised if Bull Bushka makes an appearance…
puddleglum1066 2 days ago
“Power’s out and we’ve got orders for fifty pizzas. How are we going to heat our oven?” All eyes turn toward Pizza BM…
rockyridge1977 2 days ago
Here’s your sign!!!!
Cartoondog 2 days ago
MuddyUSA Premium Member 1 day ago
Powers out and so is Cranky……..
Where's The Pizza Box Monster? 1 day ago
Yes, I’m still around after all. Keep me here full time, give the people what they want! Then we can retitle this strip, “Pizza Box Monster (With the Occasional Crankshaft Cameo)”
lemonbaskt 1 day ago
batiuk is only using pizza box monster as a prop try to find him some funny lines please yeet
Daltongang Premium Member 1 day ago
“It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.”
[Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce] 1 day ago
Let’s hide behind the chainsaws!
Why don’t we just get in the running car!!?
I think this commercial has been going for at least 5 years and I love it
[Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce] 1 day ago
NO restaurant owner takes loss of power calmly,as they are dependent on refrigeration.
The Melting Mozzerella Monster will soon appear
Crandlemire 1 day ago
It was one of those nights you only read about in Stephen King novels or whispered of in the macabre verses of Edgar Allan Poe. The storm outside raged, a tempest of rain and lightning that struck the town of Westview with the force of a beast trying to break free from the sky. Montoni’s Pizza, usually a warm haven of laughter and the scent of fresh dough, now sat cold and silent, its lights snuffed out by the storm’s vicious hand.
Inside, Darwin, Summer, and Cody sat frozen in the darkness, still clutching the decorations they had been hanging for the Halloween party. The wind howled like some forgotten creature as the thunder roared, rattling the windows. Cody, ever the pragmatist, began fumbling in the dark, searching for a flashlight or a candle—anything to push back the creeping shadows.
But what they didn’t know—what none of them could have foreseen—was that something far more sinister lurked outside. This was no ordinary storm. The evil politician, the one who had whipped the town into a frenzy and nearly razed Lillian’s bookstore for daring to sell Fahrenheit 451, was watching. He had been chased out of town by angry citizens weeks before, but now he had returned. Twisted by hatred and self-righteousness, his mind was consumed with malice, his heart as shriveled as his soul.
Lightning flashed, and for a brief moment, Cody thought he saw a figure standing outside, barely visible through the sheets of rain. His heart raced as the words from an old radio show echoed in his mind: Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows.
The darkness pressed in tighter, as the politician plotted his revenge—a horror beyond what anyone in that small town could imagine. And Montoni’s Pizza, the heart of Westview, was about to become ground zero for his next act of terror.
tcayer 1 day ago
How can this get any worse (he asks rhetorically!)