For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for July 31, 2023

Golden Handshake? Feels like Fool’s Gold sometimes…

A golden handshake includes a bonus, benefits, and retirement payout. If that’s what Ellie gets, it could be worse.

A golden handshake is a large sum of money that a company gives to an employee when he or she leaves, as a reward for long service or good work or a generous severance agreement given especially as an inducement to early retirement.

I don’t think that is what Elly is getting here. The library does not have the money to give Elly a golden handshake. “The lead handshake” may be closer to what Elly is going to get.

I am surprised they are giving her a month to finish what she can, since they cancelled everything she was working on. When they layoff people at my work, they get a severance and they are gone the day they learn about it.

What “Golden Handshake”? They’re simply kicking her to the curb.

This has happened to me before. I feel bad for her. At least she doesn’t have to worry about how she’s going to pay the rent and put food on the table.

My dad had a book called The Golden Parachute. He read it after he was downsized in the 1980’s.

Most lay-offs feel more like a kick in the A$% by an iron boot.

I’ve never heard of “the Golden Handshake”.

At least they told her right away rather than feeling sorry for her and delaying until she spent a bunch of redecorating money.

I call it throwing people away.

She will get nothing. Libraries are non-profit, so they cannot afford any of that. Either they give her two weeks notice, which it seems they are, or she gets severance pay.

Another month to keep working hard on stuff that’s terminal? Oh, He11 no.

“So, you get NOTHING! YOU LOSE! Good DAY, sir!”

~Gene Wilder (Willy Wonka)

All is not lost. There couldn’t be a better place to have to ‘shelve’ things than in a public library.

(And I think I can say that quite literally.)

If the time for this story is Now there should be no problem.

Everyone’s looking for help. Just won’t be in a Library.

Still, I got laid off a half dozen times, always a gut punch.

What sort of awful local government cuts a library’s budget in half? Perhaps Elly should spend her month organizing a fund raiser.

The ways of the corporate world. Like the Coasters said, “Sorry, but I’m gonna have to pass”.

I always thought Ellie was a volunteer.

Lay off one of those coasting full-timers and replace them with hard working Elly. Oh wait, that’s not how cronyism works.

It’s a gut punch to learn that, when the chips are down, you’re the expendable one.

I have been through a number of layoffs, I think it is better for both parties to have the person out the door as quickly as possible. The working relationship is destroyed, there is nothing good that is happening from here on, and the possibility of real harm. Be professional, be as kind as the situation allows, but it is best it the separated person it out the door with in an hour at the most.

I guess this is the Worse part of the Better …

The hard part is telling your spouse the news… Le’ts see how John reacts.

If they expect you to work your tail off just to let you go, I will say no thanks. Finish them on your own.

My, my, such gloomy comments, especially from some of the greatest detractors. Look on the bright side, now for all of you helicopter moms, both male and female, Elly will have more time to obsessively watch April every second of every moment of every day. After all iIsn’t that what you have been clamoring for?

Trudeaunomics

There was a case where a man had faithfully worked for a company for 17 years, only to one day arrive at work and out of the blue he got told he was fired. Sure, it stung, but he worked to pool his capital in a hardware and home goods company where he took employees who had no experience in construction and show the business from bottom up. That place was known as Home Depot.

The company that fired him? Gone. “A lot of them are gone now.” the founder said in an interview. “Places with stagnating inventory, poor management and high markup. Paying customers know about this, and they choose to spend their dollars somewhere else.”

“When your coworker gets a pink slip; it is a recession. When you get a pink slip; it is a depression.” -President Harry S. Truman

Comics are supposed to make you smile and be happy. This makes me sad. Heavy Bummer!

or a shaft…..

Before I retired from the Navy, I was told I’d probably cry at the retirement. During the ceremony, I had so much fun "I thought I might have to have plastic surgery to remove my smile " (adapted from Clark W. Griswold in “Vacation”.) When I retired from the Sheriff’s Office at age 69, I was all smiles. No more swabs up my nose to check for COVID!

Before college, I was working part-time while attending high school as a senior. After Christmas, I was informed that I would no longer work there but I got a reprieve by being hired by another store in the grocery chain because of my reputation. “When one door closes, another window opens” – Alexander Graham Bell (repeated in The Sound of Music by Maria played by Julie Andrews).

Now Elly must be niggardly.

I’ve been RIFfed, actually at an age that amounted to retirement. No fun, especially if you enjoy the work you’ve been doing.

or a screw…..

Worse than that,they cancelled her library card/.

“The mad colorist” seems to be at work—I recall Sue as an ultra-gorgeous blonde

That’s not a Golden Handshake https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_handshake

This is the sad truth with so many libraries today, especially in small towns, whether in the US or Canada.

Cheer up Ellie this may a stating point for something better than this.