Frank and Ernest by Thaves for June 22, 2023

No, they’ve been saying ‘goodbye and thanks for all of the fish’.

Two porpoises walk into a bar…

OMG they’re dolphin versions of you!

So long and thanks for all the fish.

My uncle was arrested for transporting dolphins across state lines for immoral porpoises.

None of their jokes are accidents – every joke is on porpoise.

They must have read Alice in Wonderland.

Did you hear the one about the guy who travelled from Ohio to Indiana to visit a porpoise brothel and was arrested for crossing state lines for immoral porpoises?

That’s the porpoise of life

Once on vacation my sister swam with the dolphins. Someone told her to swim on her back. She did. Big mistake!

What was the porpoise of that?

They did it on porpose!

My favorite bit of humor regarding porpoises wasn’t meant as humor: in Real Life™, a Saudi official gave a press release about ecological damage done by Iraq during the Gulf War. When he spoke of the harm to dolphins and porpoises in the area, apparently no one had explained to him how “porpoises” is pronounced in English. He made the “ois” rhyme with “boys”….

Well, what else would you expect? Except maybe jokes about humans underwater.

That’s the thing about learning other languages. You discover their conversations are just as boring as the ones in your first language.

And that is why they are always laughing.

Whenever I get too uppity I remember that Porpoises have learned a significant number of human words, but we have yet to understand a single word of Porpoise.

https://9gag.com/gag/a81KRbp

Treehouse of Horror XI: "Night of the Dolphin"

Such is their porpoise in life.

Given what we know about their tendency to like having fun, it makes poifect sense.

For those who’ve been wondering but haven’t bothered to look it up:

“Dolphins are not types of porpoises, porpoises are not types of dolphins, and they are not different names for the same thing. They are separate sets of animals, each including multiple species.”

“Dolphins and porpoises differ in their faces, fins, and body shapes. Dolphins have longer noses, bigger mouths, more curved dorsal fins, and longer, leaner bodies than porpoises. "

of course

apparently, F&E have a new “all-porpois” A I machine to work with – from ACME Manufacturing…!

For the benefit of the punsters in the above comments, the complete shaggy dog story goes something like this:

A marine researcher discovered a substance, derived from sea gulls, which would enable dolphins to live forever. One day, while carrying out his research, he was bringing a shipment of gulls to his lab, but discovered the door was blocked by a sleeping lion. He got the door open and carefully stepped over the lion, but was immediately arrested.

He was charged with transporting gulls over a staid lion for immortal porpoises.

Maybe they’re getting another one of those strange ‘aw blah es span yol’ sounds (from the Far Side’s archives)