Herman by Jim Unger for February 07, 2022

I worked for a hedge fund. But I didn’t like the hours so then I decided to become self-employed.

He was an auditor for the IRS and got tired of mugging people for the government.

He now works with the crowd that cancels anyone they disagree with.

“As a kid, I attended a mugging prep school called ‘The Hall’….”

A Politician?

A lawyer?

“I hung out on the corner and stole hubcaps…”

I tried hi-jacking cars but I couldn’t run fast enough. Then there was stealing catalytic converters, but there wasn’t room for me. Later tried pickpocketing, but most jeans are too tight and handbags gave me a hernia. Then I tried straight out hold-ups, but people were into their phones and didn’t notice. So now I want to go into collecting political donations. You know, something with a future.

Before being self employed he belonged to the muggers union, but got tired of paying dues

High school and college football defensive lineman.

5 to 10 for larceny. I was a congressperson

" I worked as a corporate headhunter…"

Pretty well dressed for a mugger; mainly hangs out in Manhattan?

We all get mugged once a year or more….

“A Banker.”

Does anyone else notice he looks identical to the interviewer? My bet is he is interviewing for a job in HR.

I belonged to a smash and grab gang.

Sounds like he’s qualified for accounting.

“I used to be a corporate mugger. Turns out corporations — despite being people — are harder to mug than you’d think, hard to sneak up on.”

He was the chairperson of the GOP.