Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 20, 2019

They don’t sell round trip tickets.

It’s the destination, not the journey.

About 60 years ago, I took an “El Cheapo” tour of several islands in Hawaii that was almost as bad. I was wondering if I was going to get out alive!

Never mind the iPhone… got a coin?

Be afraid … be very afraid.

Don’t pay the ferryman, until he gets you to the other side.

Well, I would be hoping he’d be taking me to A Houseboat on the Styx. Good company there.

At least it’s not a “Minnow” cruise.

There is only one way this trip is going to end and it’s not up but down.

These are the moments when you immediately know who’s superstitious.

Styx and Stones …

Sorry. Princess Cruise Lines do not offer a “River Stix Wild Adventure” tour.

It’s not the journey, it’s the destination. (Sorry for sounding like a Jeep commercial.)

Wrong! Could you imagine how annoyed the management would be if people posted positive, 5 star reviews?

But the River Styx is beautiful this time of year.

This gondolier only sings dirges.

I am also betting the signal is lousy there.

I suspect the boatman is a bit more sensitive than you might think. I mean Charon seems to live on tips.

My guess, its his refusal to ask for directions that got them there, in the first place.

If you didn’t pay Charon before getting on the boat, he wouldn’t ferry you across the River Styx and you’d roam about on the shore until you could pay.

I thought Charon’s job got outsourced in a corporate merger

The ride of their lives.

And, whatever you do, don’t look in the water!

I thought this was the Love Boat!

Walking around like regular people. They don’t see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don’t know they’re dead.

“Where’s the buffet table? No bar? This cruise sucks.”

Pretty sure this is the great equalizer. We all go the same way, regardless of political party, social agenda, or economic status. Even cartoonists, or so I’m told.

One way cruise to Fire Lake ;)

But the memories will Styx with you unless you take a side cruise on the Lethe. But what do I know? It’s all Greek to me.

Shouldn’t have had the salmon mouse…

It’s the last time they sign up for a Mystery Cruise.

Carnival?

It was billed on Groupon as the “Tunnel of Love”…

If so, you should’ve read the reviews BEFORE getting on that boat…

That’s what you get for booking on the Costa Concordia.

Don’t even think about petting the three-headed dog at the dock when you disembark.

What would Charon spend his money on? I suppose the boat and oars need upkeep and occasional replacement, but I still wonder where and on what does Charon spend his money.

Anybody giving a bad review gets a free boat ride across the river.

It’s not so bad, but sometimes it Styx.

I left a “bad, really bad service” review on Yelp once, and the owner of the place flamed me for it. I won’t ever be going back there…

I don’t believe that stuff but I’m asking folks to cremate me and throw a couple of quarters in the urn. Just in case.

Just don’t forget to take a Selfie with the Gondolier or the family will never believe your story.

Note to self, never book a cruise on a boat which features a human skull on its bow.

Same with Discover cards, no matter how many times Samuel Jackson asks “What’s in your wallet?” Good luck using it anywhere…