Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 24, 2022

One of these days, Alice

Back when I worked tech support, one customer called in saying that she couldn’t dial in to the internet on her notebook PC. Turned out that she was in a canoe in the middle of a lake, with 100 25 foot extension cords connecting her PC to her phone line. She didn’t clue in to the fact that if she had to bypass the extension cords to call tech support, that the computer might not have been the issue.

Also, if your spouse starts referring to you as a “program”, that would be a cue to step far away from that relationship.

Does she realize that if he gets out of the boat, she has to be the cpu (canoe power utility)?

There was a joke about two astronauts on the moon looking down at a woman laying on the ground the caption was “This is Alice Cramden”, I sent it to my list of joke’s I spent the rest of the day explaining the joke to all the younger people who had never seen the Honeymooner’s TV program.

Hey, Tech support gave good advice, the best way to get off a sandbank is to lighten the load.

She says this to a guy holding 2 six foot oars. Chancy

She seems like someone who experiences a lot of PEBCAK errors.

I’m so old I remember when the threat of domestic violence was thought to be funny.

Just reboat.

People unclear of the concept… Woman came into the store where I do a little part-time and said she needed to purchase some email paper. Asked where to find it.

People interpret what they hear in the way they want to hear it.

How lucky she is to find and English-speaking tech support person after waiting less than a century

This is why, when giving technical support in either a professional or friendly capacity, you need to ask specific questions and insist upon clear answers. Otherwize you get this sort of error.

Gawd, my sister has Alexa on her Kindle, and we can hardly have a conversation. . .Alexa keeps butting in, and my sister has to keep telling her (it?) to butt out. . .

OK, let me see if I’ve got it straight here. Woman gets into boat with man. Man rows boat while woman plays on smartphone. Man continues rowing the boat. Woman feels threatened by man. Why? He’s still rowing the boat.

Another operator malfunction. I suppose it’s a good thing Tech Support didn’t tell her reboot.

“Well, I’m just stuck in one spot”, and if you look at the man, he’s holding one oar thus the “one spot” comment. Turns out he is the problem and the advice from tech is sorta correct.

 A Grim Milestone

COVID-19 has now killed over a million Americans. For comparison:

Civil War: ~620,000

Great Chicago fire: ~300

Peshtigo fire: ~2,000

WW1: 116,516

Spanish flu: ~675,000

Tulsa race massacre: ~300

Pearl Harbor: 2,403

WW2: 418,500

Korean War: 33,686

Vietnam War: 58,220

Oklahoma City bombing: 168

9/11: 2,977

Afghan War: 6,301

So the wealthiest, most technologically advanced nation in human history, with 4% of the world’s population, has racked up 16% of its COVID deaths.

Why? Or, more pertinently, who?

How many of those million American corpses would be alive today if the former guy had shown awareness, concern, moral courage, and real leadership by treating the pandemic as a serious, non-partisan public-health matter instead of trivializing, minimizing, and politicizing it? Just because HE was getting the best medical care money could buy (at taxpayer expense) didn’t mean everybody else was.

Granted, his monumental ignorance, arrogance, intransigence, and narcissism don’t amount to premeditated murder, but there’s a convincing case to be made for contributory negligence on a massive scale. It’s like applauding enthusiastically while the kids next door take turns throwing lighted matches on a pile of oily rags.

Like she’s going to row? HA!

Reminds me, for some combative reason, of a scene in “Snow Crash”, one of the first cyberpunk novels, where the protagonist has to disengage temporarily from a firefight because the software on his gunboat needs to be remotely upgraded. By Neal Stephenson, always a classic.

Uhhh I dont get it. If i did higher score. 6/10

I called tech support once and found myself talking to a 7-foot-tall guy named Punjab.

And Justice Jackson would be perfectly justified in saying“Beam me up,Scotty,there’s no intelligent life in this sector”.

LOL ………….. Good one, Wiley!

what happens if the architect of the program you are using lives on a lake with its own boat, drown him as well?

Sounds reasonable …