Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 22, 2013

Ok, I better move to Sacramento.

Now don’t you feel safer knowing Guard Duck is watching out for you?

He took a duck in the face at point blank range.

I’d say so, Neighbor Bob.

Uh, oh. Duck!

You can sleep well tonight; your National Guard Duck is awake.

Li’l, L’il, or Lil’? The whole World awaits a definitive explication, Cartoon-Boy!If I were Neighbor Bob, I’d be careful about being too whiny with LGD on my case (and on my chest)!

LGD plays it close to the vest….

It just doesn’t happen to be his vest.

Reminds me of a poem I found in a 70s anthology called “Paranoia”. At one point it says, “Someone has been opening your mail, and the worst of it is, their hands are coming out of your shirtsleeves.” The anthology was called Voices. There were famous poems mixed with less-known ones and great black and white photographs. I wish I had kept them. I’ve googled the poem without success.

With Guard Duck running the neighborhood watch you can either feel very safe or very much in danger. Neighbor Bob’s one of the folks Guard Duck has had issues with in the past over the paint job of his house, right? He should probably feel very threatened. After all, Guard Duck will shot first and ask for an air strike on his house later. And knowing Guard Duck, it won’t be a surgical air strike. I’ll be like Rolling Thunder.

Too close for comfort.

It’s nice to see LGD again! He is one of my favorites,

Rats neighborhood watch program would be selling fake rolex’s

Be thankful he’s only WATCHING you. At least so far.

Very, very funny. Is that a guard duck in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Why so upset, Bob? Got something to hide?

Fortunately for neighbor Bob, LGD wasn’t carrying his bazooka…

The Patriot Act rears its ugly head again…

At least it ain’t girl cooties . . . . . ☻

That’s right neighbor Bob. You’d best keep any ‘suspicious activity’ to a minimum, or Li’l Guard Duck will upgrade his surveillance of you from Fairly Intrusive to Extremely Intrusive.

I think Lil’ Guard Duck is definitely mallardjusted.

Guard duck is a good republican.

What’s next? LGD-brand drones?

Haha!

xxx

how’d you like a grenade down your shorts

I’ ’ve always liked the pig best.

Okaaaaay, that’s really creepy…

Almighty Almighty, this is Sideshow: Apocalypse Now!

Arc Light, Arc Light!

Does Guard Duck work for the TSA or DHS?

My god, that’s funny!

What? Don’t ducks also have cooties?

Could be worse. He could have been in your pants.