Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 18, 2013

Everyone would have a NASCAR fix than hear good news in newspapers.

There’s a Canadian news site that has a section devoted to good news.

I remember a “Pearls” strip where Pig goes door to door asking the neighborhood if they’ve found Jesus… stolen form his Nativity scene.

Shake the dust off your feet, Pig.

“Good news,” in Greek is “Gospel.”

No news is good news.

Pig = Jehovah’s Witless

If they sent out the good lookers & offered a lap dance with the talk, I’d let them in. More than once. . ..

You should also sell Trud and Moskovskiy Komsomolets. Also, did you know that when americans win the Moon Race, soviet newspapers issued a back-paged note on that, which would probably fit the Twitter massage format.

That seems to be a common theme. I’m watching people yell and scream about always getting bad news then when they get good news they yell and scream about it not being news worthy. And others yell and scream about bad news not being news worthy and they yell and scream about always getting good news. Only a few seem to like good news, but then those stories tend to be what my 10th grade current events teacher called fluff pieces (I got in trouble for mentioning fluff pieces too often) and these folks don’t get why there isn’t more to the piece.

I tend to avoid people who hear the written word.

This was hilarious.

It must be psychological – if we’re miserable and hear good news, it can make us feel worse if we have no hope. But if we hear bad news, we might feel a little better because at least we’re not as bad off as they are.

Yeah, THERE’S COOKIES !!!!!!

or, pig can just put it all up online.

One of the nice things about living on a small island is that I havn’t had an evangical, JvW or christain crusader, knock on my door sence the late 80’s. I figure with what happens here in the summer we are beyond “saveing”.

Is there an echo in here?

Poor Pig! All that hard work and effort for NOTHING!

xxx

People are already resistant to THAT!

Good news always makes me feel worse…..

Poor Pig.

The 85 years of history from ca. 95 AD to 180 AD was the period of Western history in which, as Gibbon wrote, “the condition of the human race was most happy and prosperous.” The Roman Empire was at its peak. Wise and benevolent emperors ruled peacefully over a flourishing economy. Art and architecture decorated hundreds of cities.And no one wrote any history of it. Because such a history would be bo-ring!

o…….k?

Ohhhhh, I love this one.

Yep.

Eveen crokydile ees smart enuff to no ‘gospel’ no ees greek word.

A moment later, Pig put on a colorful outfit and started singing “Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord.”:PS — Let’s all flag the “rice” guy.

I’d probably actually bite on that one…I like trolling salespeople and especially Jehovah’s Witnesses. I once had a carpeting telemarketer on the line for over an hour getting quotes and run-downs on everything before I said, “That’s really nice stuff, and great prices, but I just installed hardwood floors last week.”-As for Jehovah’s Witnesses, I’m just what they need…a transsexual metalhead atheist :)

From Merriam-Webster Online, the origin of “gospel”:“Middle English, from Old English gōdspel (translation of Late Latin evangelium), from gōd good + spell tale”

It’s sad that so many people would slam the door in the face of someone like that, without hearing what they have to say. It might be something worth hearing.

I see Pastis is now a children’s book author. I’ll have to read it when it comes out.

I remember a good news paper. It was called GRIT. Fun to read.

Here comes Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show.

Pig is a victim of stereotyping here. So be it (trans.: amen).

@Hillbillyman—Then there was the convict who was spared the gallows…“No noose is good noose”!

Is anyone really going to buy a newspaper that only has good news? People need to know that someone is worse off than they are. Personally, I would get a yearly subscription.