Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 20, 2013
March 19, 2013
March 21, 2013
Transcript:
Pig: Look, Rat, I made a victory garland from plants I found in our backyard. It means I'm a winner! Rat: That's poison oak. Pig: I'm feeling less winnery.
The garland does not make the winner, Pig. It is nothing but a symbol. I’m not sure which of the ancient games used poison oak as its symbolic reward…. (Scratches head.)
Cue the Righteous Brothers! ♫♪♫♪♫ Pig’s lost that winnery feeling, oh that winnery feeling Bring back that winnery feeling, now it’s gone, gone, gone And he’ll just scratch on, whoh ohoh oh… (I never knew it was possible to be not allergic to it. What luck!)
Friend on riding mower with shorts, sandals and sunglasses goes off property by 5 feet and hits patch of poison ivy. 3 days in hospital due to inhalation/ingestion and skin exposure..“Funny” now (oh, OK; even back then it was somewhat humourous after we found out it he wasn’t going to die).
When I was in Basic Training the drill sergeant looked at one of the troops when we were in the field, asked him if he knew he’d camoflaged his helmet with poison oak.
I had a cousin who was immune to poison ivy. He used to lord it over all of his friends and make fun of them because they could get the rash, and he couldn’t. One day he picked a bunch of poison ivy leaves and rubbed them all over his face. A few days later, he found out that IMMUNE is not necessarily forever.
His face blew up like a basketball. Everyone had a grand time with that.
legaleagle48 almost 12 years ago
Soon he’ll be itching for some relief!
Templo S.U.D. almost 12 years ago
time to bring out the calamine lotion
margueritem almost 12 years ago
He’ll need an ocean of calamine lotion…
Sherlock Watson almost 12 years ago
It takes a hardy fellow to wear a laurel like that.
Phatts almost 12 years ago
I hardly ever feel winnery.whinery, sometimes.OK, I admit it, whinery a lot of times.
Buckly34 almost 12 years ago
“Winning” Wasn’t that trademarked by Charlie Sheen last year?
SusanSunshine Premium Member almost 12 years ago
Hope Pig isn’t going to rest on his laurels.
That would really be a rash move.Bilan almost 12 years ago
Itchy lies the head that wears a crown.
amyhre2001 almost 12 years ago
At least he didn’t wipe his butt with it.
pc368dude almost 12 years ago
Some Selsun Blue will fix the whole thing.
JGordonFan24 almost 12 years ago
If Pig is the winner, I would hate to see who the ones he beat.
Sisyphos almost 12 years ago
The garland does not make the winner, Pig. It is nothing but a symbol. I’m not sure which of the ancient games used poison oak as its symbolic reward…. (Scratches head.)
lisapaloma13 almost 12 years ago
Of course you’re feeling less winnery… it’s spring!
Carl Rennhack Premium Member almost 12 years ago
The poison oak remark came from a POISONED OAF!!
dreadlokz almost 12 years ago
Maybe instead of blabbing, Pig can take off the poison oak!
Arianne almost 12 years ago
Cue the Righteous Brothers! ♫♪♫♪♫ Pig’s lost that winnery feeling, oh that winnery feeling Bring back that winnery feeling, now it’s gone, gone, gone And he’ll just scratch on, whoh ohoh oh… (I never knew it was possible to be not allergic to it. What luck!)
specinss almost 12 years ago
Pig will need to see the doc to get a shot so that the rash will not spread into his eyes and cause blindness.
finale almost 12 years ago
Friend on riding mower with shorts, sandals and sunglasses goes off property by 5 feet and hits patch of poison ivy. 3 days in hospital due to inhalation/ingestion and skin exposure..“Funny” now (oh, OK; even back then it was somewhat humourous after we found out it he wasn’t going to die).
sarah413 Premium Member almost 12 years ago
Look on the bright side pig, at least your victory drink didn’t taste like burnt almonds.
puddlesplatt almost 12 years ago
taint funny if you’ve had it , can be real serious is your caught out in the boonies…
doublepaw almost 12 years ago
Use Windex!
orinoco womble almost 12 years ago
Pig’s tubby enough to feel Michael Winner-y.
banananananana almost 12 years ago
haha
Scott S almost 12 years ago
When I was in Basic Training the drill sergeant looked at one of the troops when we were in the field, asked him if he knew he’d camoflaged his helmet with poison oak.
Number Three almost 12 years ago
Oh Pig…
LOL xxx
JP Steve Premium Member almost 12 years ago
“We Extend This Laurel, and Hearty Handshake…”
Igo almost 12 years ago
I had a cousin who was immune to poison ivy. He used to lord it over all of his friends and make fun of them because they could get the rash, and he couldn’t. One day he picked a bunch of poison ivy leaves and rubbed them all over his face. A few days later, he found out that IMMUNE is not necessarily forever.
His face blew up like a basketball. Everyone had a grand time with that.
I Go Pogo almost 12 years ago
Wow – thanks for refreshing my memory. I see a long evening ahead tonight settling back and revisiting some Jesse Winchester albums.