Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 30, 2013

“We are not irregular.”

NO! DON’T DO IT!You know the beginners always get Beginner’s Luck! He’ll probably beat both of you out of all your money!

High card?A usually clownishly amusing person who is on drugs?

(Look it up)

Pig is just pretending.

You must be a girl, because everyone is calling you “Patsy”.

When she returns, you ask her if she lit a match.

Can one fleece a pink-skinned Pig? We may find out….

There has to be a really bad joke about being “all in” to make here, but I just can’t think of one right now…

Pig’s about to find a leading role in “The Prince and the Pauper” and he isn’t going to be a Prince…

Careful people! I smell a hustler!

I read that the queen takes her toilet with her when she travels, and no one else is allowed to use it.

Long time ago I tried to learn bridge. I was dealt 13 cards. Don’t remember the other eight, but I held the ace, king, queen, jack, & ten of diamonds! Only time I ever held a royal flush! Hope Pig has better luck!

Pig needs to know that if you sit down at a poker table, and you can’t tell who is the patsy, it’s you.

Deal him in AND give him another beer.

Whew, Queenie! How about a courtesy flush?

Hee hee – good one.

“Ante up , Pig,”Pig – "Auntie who? "

Now ask him about the Queen’s nuts! (look it up!)

The royal wee-wee?

You just have to love Pig. I know I do.xxx

Your lack of Grace is over the cliff, AND so funny!!

See that before….Pig will win it all.Rat..“I got four queens.”Pig…“Beats me, I only got four ones.”

Look to your left – then – look to your right. If you can’t identify the sucker – then it’s YOU!

DEAL-HIM-IN !

Well she can’t go potty anymore