Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 24, 2016

Don’t worry, Medicare should cover treatment for it.

When asked who’s in charge of shipping, Pig says, “See Phyllis.”

I’m under 60 and often phone my sister in Europe….doesn’t that mean I call her abroad?

I can just hear it now. A 75 year old sugar daddy talking to his 32 year old girlfriend, whom he’s been trying to get into the sack for four months, about what he just ordered from Pig.

“Alice, good news! Pig gave me the clap! Now will ya give me a little lovin’?”“That’s it, Jim! I’m not getting anywhere near you and little Jim no more!”

‘The clapper’ must be an American thing – doesn’t translate well across the pond.

Maybe in the US, but not in the UK – the “Clap” is still used as a term for gonorrhoea.

“The clap” was the subject of a running gag in the 2010 US movie Get Him to the Greek, where a British comedian sings a song with that title referring to the STD. And “broad” is occasionally used in modern pop culture.

Hey Go-Comics can help Pig cram a lot of stuff on one page !

I had to look the Clapper up to see what it was. It seems like something more suitable to young paraplegics than to the elderly. My mum, who is 89, couldn’t slap her hands together hard enough to generate a noise to save her life.

We used to have a clapper. Worked well, but every time our dog barked the TV would turn on.

I think that Toon Boy is in for a reprimand by the gocomic’s censors.

Was amused to learn that, at many health insurance companies, STD means “short term disability” insurance.

Pig could also combine the ads for LifeAlert and Viagra….“Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”.That would save some space.

They forgot the lawyer alert. I’ve fallen and I want to sue!

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

I read it to fast…thought it said wife alert.

But this is a website for older people. So the slang meaning of “clap” would resonate with them. Hence the low sales.

People in my area still say the clap, plus if he’s selling to the elderly, do we really think someone over 70 will use modern slang?

Definitely snerked at this one! Funny!

I read that STDs are on the rise (no pun intended) in assisted living and nursing homes, where residents get frisky with each other.

There’s a product called Grip-Aid to help grip utensils.Would his web site say “Get a Grip”

The wind up.The pitch!….and he throws it in the dirt……

Uh huh, sure they did. Which is why I heard it through out the ‘80s, ’90s, ’00s, and now most of the ’10s. But then I’ve also seen claims no one uses VD anymore, it’s all STD, which is also a lie.

That’s what Rat would put!

xxx

Long and tedious build-up to a short, sweet pay-off. But that’s okay, ‘cause it’s funny ….

I heard a few stories about the clapper damaging electronics, so it is only suitable for lamps, or maybe old tube-type TVs.

I’ve heard the term “Clap,” and I’m from well past the 70’s. Haven’t heard it often, but have heard it.As for “broad”, try B.C. The Fat Broad is still alive and well and squashing snakes.