Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 21, 2021

I hope this isn’t being paid by the infrastructure bill.

Rat needs rehab.

If only this could be done with pizza . . .

Piker. What he NEEDS is an IV system.

I’d like to do that with Root Beer!

I truly feel is pain.

I do not know if it still exists but decades ago a German man had a pipeline installed from the local brewery to his home.

Oops. Pig’s delivery of Cheez Whiz got delivered into Rat’s latte vat.

I read somewhere that they used to pipe in Guinness to homes.

Rat is there a valve on that pipe to switch to beer in the evening ?

Ya think?

Saves him a trip!

Why not just use Doordash?

If only beer came in pipelines.

I like spending time in the coffee shop. That’s part of the charm. I miss it but am not comfortable yet hanging out there. Next year maybe.

Rat and the Angry Big Inch.

Now all he needs is some piped music!

That delivery system could get messy.

Dammit, Stephan, I was trying to figure out a pun.

Imagine the cost..your own pipeline to caffeine

Merlot. Not coffee.

Beer pipelines? Great idea. Fewer DUIs. No driving to bars so carbon footprint is reduced. Less covid. I think we’re on to something here.

I wonder how dangerous it would be to do this with hot black coffee.

He’s not going to rehab, that’s for sure.

My father’s frat had metered beer piped in from the brewery next door. Post-WW2. Dad was a teetotaler, though. His father was an alcoholic.

https://youtu.be/7UtZZ6XEceA

Meh. Pastis version of a bad hair day.

But does Rat get a good deal?

May?

Rat knows that things like Uber Eats and Doordash exist, right? That seems like a choking hazard if you ask me.

If it is with Vanilla latte it’s not an addiction, it is also a perversion. No decent human should consume such a thing.

The shame of it all, I’m like that about Diet Cokes and what awful, detestable person banned from social median hopefully from all government service, consumes it in vats as well?

If he’s never leaving the bed, he’ll need a urine collection pipe to the sewer.

KRAMER (speaking quickly and jittery): “Awe they’re making faces at me cause I’ve had a couple of cafe lattes. But I’m entitled to them. I can have as many cafe lattes as I want…”

Contract with Wallace, Rat, you can split costs with Pig for a cheese delivery pipe!

Better yet, skip the lattes.

The additional bonuses of the situation are that Rat gets to stay in bed for an extra hour – and doesn’t have to get out until the caffeine kicks in.

If you are mainlining then yeah you probably are addicted

Gee… Rat, what makes you think that?

Good grief, Rat! You’ve gone too far! Lattes are expensive enough without installing a pipeline direct to your bedroom!

Rat is me with peppermint mocha

Years ago I heard about a German man who had a direct pipe from a brewery. He might also have had an addiction, but regardless I suspect he had a lot of “friends.”

WANT.

There is actually a beer pipeline in Germany from a brewer to a soccer stadium.