Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 18, 2022

Actually, a Mr. Goodbar can really cheer a person up.

Yes, bars are filled with happy people.

Alcoholism and sadness also come from a good bar.

don’t let him steal your joy Pig!

A man walked into a bar, it hit him on the forehead.

No happiness there!

Some bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says “hey, we don’t serve your kind here.” The bacteria reply “we’re not customers, we’re Staph.”

Pig + baseball bat = no rat

Good humor ice cream bar.

Bars are full of drunks and then they get in their cars and drive.

Mr. Good Bar.

He wouldn’t be able to do that if you were to leave no room on your signs for him to do that.

There are people at the bar of the Mexican restaurant I go to for lunch. They are drinking…at 11:30 am…on a weekday. I don’t know whether to pity them or be jealous.

He’s kinda right, having a good lawyer can make you quite happy.

Just ask Toby Keith – I Love This Bar.

Nobody ever said, “It was a good thing when dad started drinking.”

Trump rat and his marker!

Candy bar?

He’s not wrong.

I once walked into a bar. I got a bruise on my forehead.

I’m thinking Almond Joy.

I asked a bartender for change, he said change comes from within.

I said yeah, within the cash drawer.

Delusional Rat…..Pig is such a wuss

“A horse walked into a bar. The Bartender said : “Hey, why the Long Face?”"

“Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week…be sure to tip your server!”

Either write bigger, of use a smaller sign.

I got banned from a local bar for reasons I cannot explain, so happiness ain’t coming to me anytime soon.

Works for Temporary Pleasure only and even then, it’s at best only a 50/50 shot….

Does Rat just not understand, or is he just intentionally doing this to mess with Pig?

A well known prizefighter walks into a bar.

A customer yells—“You’re a bum.I’ve seen you fight three times and never win!”

The fighter says—“Well,you’re going to see me win one today,buddy!”

No, Mr. Goodbar.

Good bars have always made me happy. I have some very fond memories of a few old favorites. Unfortunately, recently I mostly just find mediocre ones.

He’s not wrong…

how about A Mr. Goodbar?

In my drinking days that was the right slogan!

The bad part is waking up the next morning so hung over that your HAIR hurts…

A good bar of what? Lead? Ain’t liquor, those are the bars you drown sorrows in and wish you were happy. Happy hour’s a con.

Strictly speaking, it comes from within

via your brain’s production of dopamine

and pretty sure it’s meant to be the icing on the cake, not the cake.

Too expensive.

Rat really set A GOOD BAR low.

You live with him, Pig. You should know by now that Rat is always contrarian or curmudgeonly….

Like a bar of dark chocolate?

Chocolate or with caramel and peanuts?

Happiness comes within the banning of tiktok

Just don’t leave any space on the sign for him to write on.