Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 19, 2023

Later that day, Neighbor Joe’s “bicycle” was destroyed in a lithium battery fire.

The Cycling Club strikes again.

That is why we wear biking helmets Joe!

I wonder what Frazz did this time to Pastis.

Neighbor Joe’s second vehicle is a Ram truck. Cyclist Jeff should watch his back.

Funny how I feel the same way about dogs barking. Do they ride electric bicycles?

Notice that Jef had to strike from behind to avoid being killed.

It’s those tight shorts. You’d be touchy too!

I can identify with that. If somebody says they ran a marathon, they should have run at least half of it and finished the 26.2 miles.

Jef, that’s not a Mallett.

How is he holding that bat? Cyclists ain’t got opposable thumbs!

Jef, “pedal” your opinions elsewhere!

Jef is 100% right here.

Ask me about whether audiobooks are reading (hint: no).

I hope the solve the battery fire issue soon because I rather like the e-bikes. In my town, a lot of poorer people who can’t afford cars have found them to be a great way to get to and from work. They ride them year-round.

You didn’t ride a motorized bicycle. You rode a deconstructed scooter. That’s all I can see them as.

I’m just trying to remember the last time I saw a cyclist stop at a STOP sign when there was no traffic to block their path. That includes the small STOP signs on the bike paths.

I’m the same way. On one hand, I’m very tempted to build an E-bike, just to play with the technology (I restore vintage bikes as a hobby). Conversely, at 72, I have no problems doing 10 mile rides on a vintage Raleigh 3-speed. So far, staying in shape has overcome a fascination with technology.

I like the bumper sticker that say, “0.0 – (I hate running).”

That comes from spending so much time on hard seats and having the “nether regions” go numb.

In the city, those ebikes go right through red lights, they go the wrong way down one-way streets, they ride on the sidewalk. Routinely. They apparently believe they are allowed to do this. Even bicycles aren’t allowed, but I understand why they stretch the rules. Ebikes have no excuse.

Is Pastis a biker? Does anyone know?

I try to walk 2 miles a day with my walker. Keep seeing folks “exercising “ on their motorized bicycles.

I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m actually with Jef the Cyclist on this one. Majority of the those electric bikes tend to explode

One who rides a motorized bike, AKA a motorcycle, is called a biker. A cyclist is one who uses a bicycle. N’er do the twain meet. Except at a bar.

I agree that pedal assist biking is not the same as biking. However, pedal assist biking is better than couch surfing. For us older folks it helps on the hills and in the wind. We otherwise might not be able to take part. Plenty of Lance-wanna-bes fly by on the trails, breaking posted speed limits while I go slower and increase pedal resistance for a better work out. So that is correct, it is not the same as biking, because it has far more options for older and otherwise challenged riders who likely have paid taxes to construct all the bike lanes and trails. It makes biking less exclusive and more accessible. There will always be idiots riding both bikes and pedal assist bikes, no license or common sense is required for either. I am comfortable being labeled a cheater in this case.

This needed to be said.

Except stop signs.

Jeff’s going to jail! Jeff’s going to jail!

Cyclists represent every moral guardian in the whole world.

Bicyclist Jef may be a dude, but it sure does seem like he’s always “cycling”………

This guys philosophy is the same as Pigs! The lazy way is the easier way!

Jef strikes again. Literally

He’s right, that’s not cycling. it’s just riding. But if you have a class 1 e-bike, you have to be pedaling for the motor to kick in. The motor s dead weight unless you pedal.

I’m just surprised that today’s strip did not elicit any opposing opinions.

Hit him with the old Louisville Slugger.

“Smokless mopeds” are not bicycles

Always nice to see Jef

My friend was telling me proudly that he was on a bicycling trip with a group, and they were ascending an exhausting mountain road. He told me he and his wife were the first to top the ascent, where they waited for the group to catch up. He told me that the group leader was a bit chagrined at how far ahead he and his wife had been. Only then did he reveal that, oh yes: we were the only ones using e-bikes. Nothing wrong with those, but I think that for clarity, people should start referring to those as motorcycles, which is what they are.

And another Lance Armstrong dopey remark from Jef the Cyclist.

A rider of a bike is endangered on the street by motorists the same whether driving with electric assist or purely by muscle. Therefore I do not see them as less . We have the same position in the pecking order in traffic and need to be in solidarity.

Neighbor Joe probably uses it to pick up a 12 pack!!

Something I consider amusingly odd: Around Mother’s Day, there’s the br**** (will that word have me barred?) cancer fundraiser Run for Mom, a footrace marathon.A month later, around Father’s Day, a prostate cancer fundraiser on motorcycles called Ride for Dad. I’m thinking machines, loud, less actual effort expended. Pro forma. IMHO.

Yeah, smack him again.

I don’t believe all of us are touchy about everything. There is a coworker (lady) of mine who rides her bicycle to work all summer long. It’s a motorized one, but she pedals the whole way except for hills. What’s the big deal?

All cyclists oh his ilk are insane, ever see them on the roadway, word…

Why are motorcyclists, rather than bicyclists, called “bikers”? Shouldn’t they be, I dunno, “motoroids” or something?

Does Spandex cause irritability?

For once I agree with Jef.

Going to the gym and spending the whole time chatting or looking at your phone doesn’t count as exercise either.

Including a moron character who claims to be a cyclist and then claims dropping the second F from his name makes him lighter and faster.

Don’t have much room to call myself a cyclist anymore anyway. Last bike I was on had a motor and was manufactured by Suzuki.

J’accuse! I saw it with my own eyes! Jef the Cyclist is guilty of assault and battery, bludgeoning hapless Neighbor Joe from behind with a baseball bat. That is not baseball! Jef the Cyclist could even go down for murder if Joe is gone….

Joe should have been wearing a helmet.

Jef!!! Good to see you.

Lance Armstrong lives. But who asked?

Psycho killer bicyclists. It must be all the spandex.

Why are there so many marathons in big cities? Because that’s where you find the most taxis. (Think about it.)