Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for May 18, 2024

Studying for finals versus applying the studying for finals.

You’ll have to be more specific, other unicorns. There’s “funny” laughing, there’s “pity” laughing, there’s “The Joker” laughing. Take your pick.

“Oh, really? Is that my problem, Oprah? Well your problem is this!”

Let’s begin your speech with: “Look at yourself, UNICORNS…”. That should buy you a few days (years?) to write a new one.

Stepped all over Marigold’s lines. Time to go home.

Ah, a Unicorn mind reader!

“A funny thing happened to me as I came here” and wing it!

Aww!!

Man, you just gotta hate it when that happens.

“Now that my predecessor has offered an imperfect argument for laughing at ourselves, I shall present the perfect one.”

This really doesn’t feel like a crowd that’s hard to please.

Maybe take the opposite tack, and make the argument “Why unicorns should NOT laugh at themselves more.”

Well Marigold, now you have the opportunity and excuse to put it into practice.

I think it ends badly here.