Pickles by Brian Crane for March 05, 2022

BRILLIANT!! I’m going to have to remember that!!

:-D

That’s a good one. I may end up taking advice from Earl… and that’s a very scary proposition!

So he’s got piles? TMI.

very well, Earl

I’ll have to remember that.

I know by experience it also works with the telemarketers! (reading aloud out of some obscure latin language book or german user manual are usually rather efficient too)

When people ask me how I am I usually say, “Not bad for an old dog.” Then my wife says, “I’d wish that you would stop saying that. I’m the same age as you!” (66) :-)

I have a variety of answers, all in Earl’s ways. ,

“Doing what?”

If he’s shoveling what I think he is, then I wouldn’t ask again either.

Back in the mid ‘70’s my standard smart ass greeting was, “How, high are you?” And since most folks weren’t listening it would go right over their heads! Thinking that I said, “Hi, how are you?” Sometimes a person would chuckle and that indicated to me that this person has the capacity to listen and we might have an interesting conversation later.

Never mind, just stick the shovel in the pile, and walk away.

If they say “Yeah – you look like it.”, he may be impressed that they understood what he meant … and either feel good that they empathize or feel hurt if he feels they’re taking a dig at how he actually looks.

Never heard that one, but I love it!

With my luck, they’d ask for more details.

I say …”Holding it together, with no staples or duct tape.”

Well, that was a sharp turn from the massage arc!

“Ain’t gettin’ any older,” does it, too.

I get it, but don’t ask me to explain it.

smart.

I answer people who ask how I am with, “I’m blessed, and you?” Most admit that they are blessed, too. It’s good to have a positive attitude.

People do not listen. When I was in college people would either say, How ya doin or what ya doin. I would always answer the opposite, going to class and good. I did this as a test, no one ever asked, what!?

Oy! Earl!

My standard answer is, “¡Mucho trabajo por un poco dinero!” ( A lot of work for a little money! )

I usually say… no worse than usual. not as arcane but it usually ends the conversation

Yeah Earl, I hate it too. Working in a dept, store, there was one manger who would say"How are you doing?" EVERY time you saw him, even if it was 5 times in one day. I started changing direction, and going into great detail, of my day so far> It didn’t take long to get him to stop asking after that.

How about this … "Nowhere to go and lots of time to get there.’’

Earl should know by now, ‘’How ya doin?’’ is a greeting, not an interrogatory.

GOOD advice..!!

I worked with someone who gave a whole organ recital anyone politely greeted her with “how are you?” This was obviously a very literal person who assumed everyone wanted to know exactly how she was, in great detail.

It’s not that they are confused., they are asking themselves if they want to pick up a shovel. It’s like I always say, the grass is always greener on the other side because there is more fertilizer over there. We all know what they use to make fertilizer.

“Woke up and I wasn’t looking at dirt. It’s a good day!”

I agree with Earl. Most people don’t really care how you are. I usually don’t respond.

I use this line sometimes.

My husband says, “I might survive one more day.” He gets some very confused looks with that one.

Just tell them how you really are feeling, aches, pains etc. and they won’t ask again either.

I’ve recently adopted “one day closer to Heaven.”

Never thought that way Earl.

Talk to the birds and the squirrels. Could be they’ll catch on.

A cryptic response.

It separates those who recognize genius from those who only recognize the included insanity.

my brother in law responds “Still above the dirt”

My standard response is “Paul Simon said it best…I’m still crazy after all these years.”

I just heard one last week, "Any day you wake up not wearing a toe tag is a good day!’

I usually settle for “Goodnu?”