Pickles by Brian Crane for September 29, 2022

It’s because of his microbrain.

It used to be the 3 second rule, but he’s slowed down a bit with old age.

Lying to children is funny? Oh, wait. Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy.

For kids it’s natural immunity building.

Indubitably, Nelson’s friend.

I don’t think anyone truly believes there’s any truth in the 5 second rule. It’s just an excuse to eat something that’s fallen on the floor.

I have long had two talking points about this:

1: If the floor is toxic, then it’s stupid to have that rule

and

2: If the floor is toxic, then it’s stupid to BE there (aside from men’s restrooms).

My rule’s better (of course I think that): If it hasn’t picked up lint, prickles or generic “glip” from the floor, then it’s as edible as it ever was. Even if it dropped yesterday. And if it has and you can blow it clean, then it’s equally edible. I may have come by this by having been raised in a family with quite a few kids. By parents who taught me to forage for berries, miners lettuce, etc. And walk upstream for half a mile looking for manure or dead a dead critter (1/2 mils is a long way in a stream channel) before drinking from the stream.

My dictum is more concise: What doesn’t kill me makes me fatter.

Disproved by Mythbusters™.

Why is his friend grey skinned and looking like a tiny adult?

I thought he was an expert in microtimeology.

It’s one of the traditional duties in being an adult: Teasing children with entertaining nonsense, making them think, toughening them up. And instilling in them a sense of humor when they figure things out. And they pass it on. Will the circle ever be unbroken?

If it’s on the floor, it is no more.

As a kid, that rule applied to the race between me, the cat, and the dog.

Tell them the truth, Earl, once you pick it back up you have to wipe it off before eating!

A while back, actual microbiologists did a study. If the food and floor are dry, it takes hours for significant contamination to occur…just brush off any obvious dust and dirt and you’re fine. If there’s moisture on either, though, contamination takes milliseconds.

Not applicable to my kitchen floor. Yet, I’m still tempted. If it’s good enough for Julia Child….

Nope – Sorry – Uh uhhh – I’m not buyin’ it..!!!

Lying to kids is the only fun I have left.

Remember, eating dirty things, boosts your immune response.

Depends on what it is. If I can wash it off effectively or peel it, I’ll still eat it even if it’s been on the floor longer than 5 seconds.

It’s the “three-second rule”, Gramps!

Every kid grows up with all these tall tales and have to decipher for themselves if they believe or not..lol

No kid, Earl just knows a lot about micro-mythology.

It is 5 seconds in Florida, anywhere else you are safe for 30 seconds. Builds you immune system.

Wait, he can’t even pronounce it!

In 5 seconds 20% of the bacteria on the floor can get on a piece of bread.

Originally, it was THREE seconds, and it was a joke!

You must admit, germs have very short legs and arms…if you can call them legs and arms.

My 5 sec. rule: If it hits the floor, it’s in the garbage is less than 5 secs.

I don’t eat anything off the floor because I know where my dog’s feet have been

The five-second rule applies in my house where germs are slow. It does not apply in the food court at the airport where the germs are wicked fast!

I Think depends on the location, heavy travelled no, resturants or buffets no, factories no.

I read somewhere—sorry, don’’t remember where—that the 5-second rule is okay as long as the food is high in sugar or high in salt content. It also implies that your floor is clean.

Did the cookie fall on the germs? Sooner. Oh, is that appropriation? That occurred in Oklahoma. Maybe the germs left.

If something dry falls on a dry floor, it’s ok? Picture your pharmacist counting out your little prescription tablets by 5s, and one slips and hits the floor.

An old man was sitting on a park bench reading a news paper when a young woman walked up with a baby stroller and sat down on the other end of he bench.

She proceeded to take a baby out of the stroller an sit it in her lap.

The baby began squirming and crying, so the mother took out a pacifier and put it in the babies mouth.

The baby settled down for a few moments, and then spat the pacifier out and onto the ground in front of the bench.

The mother immediately reached down, grabbed the pacifier off of the ground, and put it back into the baby’s mouth.

The old man grinned and asked, “5 second rule?”

And the mother replied, “No, fifth child rule.”

Cute!

Aw the naivety of children.

I always thought it was the ten second rule.

I’m amazed that kid knows how to pronounce microbiology. Good for him.

No, he doesn’t. It takes mere microseconds. It also greatly depends on what has hit the floor. Hard, non-porous smoother surfaces tend to take on less bacteria, etc., whereas with porous, soft items it is near immediately.

It is funny how things get spread (haha) and persist!