Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for October 16, 2021

A wife wakes up from a dream yelling, “Run! My husband’s home!” and her husband wakes up and jumps out the window. [NOTE: This has been a warmup joke. Had it been a real joke, you would have kept on reading anyway, right? But on to The Main Event:]

A man doing market research knocks on a door and is greeted by a youngwoman with three small children running around at her feet.

He says, “I’m doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?”

She says, ‘Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.’’

“And if you don’t mind me asking, what do you use it for?”

“We use it for sex,” she replies frankly.

The researcher is a little taken back. ‘Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child’s bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you’ve been so open and honest, will you please tell me exactly how you use it for sex?”

The woman answers, “I don’t mind telling you at all…my husband and I put it on the outside door knob so the kids can’t open our door.”

482.8 km/hour of a twister… wow.

A lot of Australian ranchers actually herd livestock using small helicopters

I could never eat a banana that way, because I’m not a vegan. I’m a carnivorous jerk.

According to Wikipedia the tornado was recorded at 301 ± 20 miles per hour. Meaning the wind speed could have been as low as 281 miles per hour. RBION states the wind speed was more than 300 miles per hour. The wind speed may have been more than 300 miles per hour, but we don’t really know that.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1999_Bridge_Creek%E2%80%93Moore_tornado

That tornado was in a hurry to leave Oklahoma.

Too bad she wasn’t early.

Take care, may famed Mexican aviator Emelio Erjartord be with you, and gesundheit.

I’m thinking – HOW do they know how fast a tornado spins?

I love to see the Tough Mudder headband! I did that race a few years ago and it was a blast. Definitely best completed with a team, but everyone out there acted like a team! I decided my short self didn’t need to do the Warped Wall and a bunch of strangers tried to talk me into it with their help! Very sweet, but I still preferred the burpee penalty. I did do the rest of the climbing elements though. And of course I enjoyed the beer they give you at the end!

I’m sorry. Peeling and eating a banana without using one’s hands is just too existential of an event to be having world records for. Next, it will be “Joe Schlabotnick drove his new car off the lot, and totaled it just 14.8 seconds later! A new Guinness world record!”

I would think that point at which the banana was totally eaten would be somewhat subjective. Definitely very hard to time down to 1/1000 of a second!!!

What a waste of time and energy if the person being honoured is not around to appreciate the gesture.

That banana record is one I won’t attempt to break.

Wow! That’s some tornado!

I remember hearing about those tornadoes in Oklahoma. My ex and I used to watch Storm Stories on the Weather Channel. What was really sad was a couple that lost their baby in one of the tornadoes which hit on May 5th. The didn’t find the baby for three days. That means that while my ex and I were exchanging wedding vows, their baby was being pulled out of the rubble. Or at least sometime that day.

The banana guy. People are still wondering why extraterrestrials don’t want to mingle with us.

Wait a second. People peel bananas before eating them? Weird!

one time i passed wind at 301 miles per hour

Apart from vegans HAVING to tell people they’re vegans, why say the banana eater was a "vegans speed eater?