“I believe that we should be re-evaluating the parameters of our relationship in accordance with the guidelines established by Thomas Hobbes in his scholarly treatise: “Operations of the Steampunk Dalek, or The Dangers of Worshiping a False God from the Planet Skaro”, soon to be featured on Oprah’s book club! What say you, my dear?"
“I say that you’ve lost your freaking mind, and you need to be put away somewhere with padded walls!”
“I’ve gone eight minutes without looking at my phone. Two more and I get a cookie. I based this series of self-deprivation and rewards on the following book:
A Treatise On Self Denial by Thomas Manton.
Except he deprived himself of speaking for months at a time and considered the act itself a reward. What an idiot."
Malcolm Hall over 5 years ago
“Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”
Masterskrain over 5 years ago
“I believe that we should be re-evaluating the parameters of our relationship in accordance with the guidelines established by Thomas Hobbes in his scholarly treatise: “Operations of the Steampunk Dalek, or The Dangers of Worshiping a False God from the Planet Skaro”, soon to be featured on Oprah’s book club! What say you, my dear?"
“I say that you’ve lost your freaking mind, and you need to be put away somewhere with padded walls!”
Mopman over 5 years ago
“I farted”.
There, I think that fit nicely within the rules.
Mighty Phavahg over 5 years ago
“I think our creator has lost it.”
Happy Tinkerbelle Premium Member over 5 years ago
Have you met my friend Ruben Bolling? He’s kind of a control freak and I think he’s color blind.
Packratjohn Premium Member over 5 years ago
Chapter One: Sam quits his job at the bank to pursue his love of water color painting.
dougsathome over 5 years ago
42.
willie_mctell over 5 years ago
Nice day for something.
Kip W over 5 years ago
“Avenge me!”
PoodleGroomer over 5 years ago
Jack Nicholson said: “…never waste a hard-on”.
The Brooklyn Accent Premium Member over 5 years ago
No, no, no; those aren’t the contest rules; that actually is the caption. He’s reciting at her.
tim.lowell over 5 years ago
“I’ve gone eight minutes without looking at my phone. Two more and I get a cookie. I based this series of self-deprivation and rewards on the following book:
A Treatise On Self Denial by Thomas Manton.
Except he deprived himself of speaking for months at a time and considered the act itself a reward. What an idiot."
Funny_Ha_Ha over 5 years ago
I’d give my left arm to win Ruben’s contest.
Indianapolis Smith over 5 years ago
I can’t live this lie any longer. I’m actually a porcupine living like a man.
cooganm Premium Member over 5 years ago
“I would like a lamp next to MY chair, [ital]by God[ital].”