That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for September 19, 2024

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    Solstice*1947  3 months ago

    (When it was first posted on 10 November 2021, there were 147 comments to this painting. I will copy and paste here any of mine that seem worthwhile, with a preface indicating they are from that year.)

    2021: /// Though she makes cheese, the girl rarely ate it.

    But you won’t hear her saying “I hate it.”

    She avoids ice cream, too.

    All things dairy— taboo.

    It’s the lactose; she can’t tolerate it!

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    Solstice*1947  3 months ago

    2021: /// The dread creature Doc Frankenstein fashioned

    had no livelihood— much too impassioned.

    Both the bolts in his neck

    were contrived as low-tech,

    and attachments, (if any), were rationed.

    /// But the creature’s helpmate has a trade.

    Her design allows her to get paid.

    Bolted into her throat

    is a yoke. You will note,

    she was made an ideal dairy-maid.

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    rmremail  3 months ago

    After she’s done bringing in the milk, Mary is going to go out and plow the fields.

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    Say What Now‽ Premium Member 3 months ago

    My original comment: It wasn’t much later when they invented the ox.

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    Solstice*1947  3 months ago

    2021 (edited and augmented): /// Because of the yoke which she wore,

    neck and shoulders are constantly sore.

    And the yoke is so wide

    she must turn to one side

    when she enters or exits a door.

    /// Does it injure the dairy maid’s pride

    when she exits, to turn to the side?

    She’s not risking contusions,

    for her fleshy protrusions,

    fore and aft, aren’t nearly as wide.

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    Bilan  3 months ago

    “If I hear one more Nice jugs! joke, somebody’s going to get milk up the you-know-what.”

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    Solstice*1947  3 months ago

    2021: /// Staid Joanna is never dismayed.

    Never wild, overjoyed or afraid.

    For her husband ensured

    that to work she’s inured.

    Now Joanna’s a Stepford milkmaid.

    /// She’s expressionless— no smiles or nods.

    Won’t sell milk to us. What are the odds

    that the whole human race

    grows extinct from this place.

    All her milk cans hold alien pods!

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    Solstice*1947  3 months ago

    2021: /// Though she didn’t much like being yoked,

    the broke yokel who yoked her was stoked.

    When obscenely he joked,

    the strong maid was provoked.

    With her yoke he was choked ‘til he croaked.

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    Solstice*1947  3 months ago

    2021: /// Those milk-cans which hang from wooden holders,

    when filled up are as heavy as boulders.

    But the maid isn’t stressed.

    After work she gets dressed

    in an ‘80’s gown (extra-wide shoulders).

    /// Eighteen-eighty’s the date, it is true,

    but all fashion repeats, never new.

    She attracts local lads

    with her wood shoulder-pads.

    Will a Dynasty prequel ensue?

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    emiesty2  3 months ago

    /// Perhaps the artwork’s quite new,

    Or used at one time or two,

    But please be a dear,

    Let the true name appear,

    Before your first stanza is through.

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    Call me Ishmael  3 months ago

    She is pumping her traps and her quads/

    In the hope of improving the odds/

    That her perfect physique/

    At contest time will “peak”/

    And will win her the judges’ nods ..

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    Kornfield Kounty  3 months ago

    “You call those jugs? These are JUGS!” … wait, what?

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    PraiseofFolly  3 months ago

    Millicent eventually refused to cosplay “The Innocent Little Milkmaid” to her husband’s “Naughty Stable Boy.” The yoke hurt her shoulders, and her hands got aching cramps. (—

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    The Wolf In Your Midst  3 months ago

    “Would you quit staring at my jugs?! My boobs are up HERE.”

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    [Traveler] Premium Member 3 months ago

    Ha, ha, the yoke’s on you

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    Gameguy49 Premium Member 3 months ago

    Shorten the chains first or you will only squat a few inches.

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    jdculhane46  3 months ago

    Are you sure this is how “drug mule” works?

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    wincoach Premium Member 3 months ago

    Ethyl was allowed only one pumping break at work, so she made the best of it.

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    Another Take  3 months ago

    “F leg day” Shoresy and Jonesy.

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    ragsarooni  3 months ago

    Soooo…the ancestors thought those skinny,little neck muscles were stronger than those good ‘ol fashioned biceps and triceps,did they? ROFLMAO

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    Rev Phnk Ey  3 months ago

    Maria’s birth defect turned out to be quite useful.

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    mistercatworks  3 months ago

    Not a funny yoke. Those things are painful.

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    coltish1.  3 months ago

    Oh, I spotted you from a long way off, darlin’.

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    mabrndt Premium Member 3 months ago

    The little dairymaid

    Paste (including the quote marks) 

    "Category:Milk in art" Wikimedia 

    (syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, and DuckDuckGo search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the text string Petite, and click its link for info and links that point to more info (perhaps best viewed by the Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox browsers, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting. 

    Again, a larger strip image is also shown by merely clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s THROWBACK THURSDAY: MASTERPIECE #2824 (11/10/21) (September 18, 2024) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment. I have added a comment there pointing to the sparse info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, only work by him used here (2 times total, including this Throwback Thursday repeat), the November 10, 2021, strip being its first use.

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    stamps  3 months ago

    A peculiar genetic mutation caused the collar bones of French milkmaids to grow straight out.

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    mokspr Premium Member 3 months ago

    That’s not a yoke she is wearing…those are her traps!

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    Ken Holman Premium Member 3 months ago

    “I saw it in the window (of the hardware store) and I just couldn’t resist it”

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    Running Buffalo Premium Member 3 months ago

    Some comments from the 11/10/2021 posting (part 1 of 2):

    rmremail: Mary was exhausted after a long day of milking the almonds to make the milk.

    +

    Charliegirl: She’s had a headache every day since they implanted those boards in her neck!

    sparklite: It’s her own fault. She told the doctor she wanted to stick out.

    +

    Bookworm: Let’s face it. Being a milkmaid’s no joke. / Long hours, heavy loads, and dealing with folk, / Is work as hard as can be, / And by her expression you see, / Though she misses the punchline, she gets the yoke.

    pcolli: On her way to churn obyl.

    Egrayjames: “And to think I was denied a job at ’Hooter’s’. Everyone knows I’ve got the best jugs in town!”

    Buzzworld: The only French painting of a woman with jugs and no nudity.

    Reader: Wait – she’s not a milkmaid in the raw; she’s a maid with raw milk!

    Honorable Mention In The Banjo Toss: Agribusiness decided it wasn’t enough just to have genetically modified crops.

    Call me Ishmael: Her face is a stoical mask / which attests to the strain of the task: / they could lighten the chore / by a factor of four … / is a wheelbarrow too much to ask?

    Call me Ishmael: I’ve been gazing at her for a while / having been drawn in by her style / her garments’ sharp creases / have blown me to pieces /- to say naught of her dazzling smile …

    +

    Linguist: Millie the Milkmaid dreams that she can can her cans and can canoe and canoodle with Canadian Can-Caners!

    *Solstice*1947*: Can Canadians cancel Can-Can? / Cantankerous canoeists can. / Leave the cannon, it’s holy, / you can take the cannoli. / Cankered cannibals canonize Cannes.

    +

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    Running Buffalo Premium Member 3 months ago

    Some comments from the 11/10/2021 posting (part 2 of 2):

    Another Take: Suzette finally figured out how Lauren Bacall got that big shoulder look but failed to realize that her clothes should go over the yoke. (Also, that she should ditch the milk buckets – stupid Suzette!)

    The Wolf In Your Midst: She listed her measurements on Tindr as 56-26-42.

    sparklite: “Ya know, if you wanted to make sure I couldn’t run away, wearing high heels would have worked, too.”

    Bilan: Wearing this yoke is one thing, but I will not put that bit in my mouth!

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    Running Buffalo Premium Member 3 months ago

    No, this won’t work as a logo for “Dairy Farm”. Maybe we should think of something else.

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    joshschr Premium Member 3 months ago

    I don’t want to milk this portrait for more jokes, but the yoke’s on you!

     •  Reply
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