Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for March 14, 2014

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling The Mind-Bending Adventures of Percival Dunwoody, Idiot Time-Traveler from 1909 2014 Percival: You there! How did this era achieve this utopian peace and prosperity? Man: It's all because of the wise and generous ROCKET CATS! Percival: Rocket cats? Man: Sure! Super intelligent felines who guide and help humans! Percival: Ah! I must HAVE one! Cat: Hey! What th... Man: NO! Percival: Got you! And now to the past -- I am going to kill Hitler! Cat: Let go, you imbecile! Man: Stop! 1536 Germany Percival: Hitler, where are you? Cat: You missed by four centuries, moron! Man: Was ist das?! Eine rocket katze! Wunderbar!! Man: We must gather all katzen und make them rocket katzen! Cat: Meow Woman: Fly! Man #2: Here, katze! Cat: NO! Cat: No, you fools! You'll disrupt our mutilation-enhanced evolution! Percival: There you are! Percival: I'm taking you back! I find a talking cat tiresome! Cat: No! 2014 Cat: What's this? Cats are now PETS?! HOMELESS PLEASE HELP Cat: 2014 is now a hellscape! Man #1: Look! A flying cat! Adorable! Woman: I can haz cheeseburger? Man #2: Ha! Percival: And now -- I AM Hitler! Cat: This makes no sense! POW Percival: Ah, I finally found Hitler! Man: This is the greatest meme ever! Cat: God damn you all to Hell! The End