Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for February 12, 2021

The “Hard Science” installment overlooks the fact there actually is an organism that continually generates cow flesh. It’s called a cow.

It would take me a decade to properly respond to all of these story lines…

“The Trial” Translation into hick: “He what smelt it dealt it!”

Good to see that releasing things into the public domain is already providing transformative works.

Two reasons the house might look familiar.

1. If you’re familiar with Edward Hopper, you may know it as the subject of his painting “House by the Road.”

2. Its design was later adapted to create the Bates house in Hitchcock’s “Psycho.”

I thought about making a sick joke about Q-Nuts Charlie Brown getting a rock in his trick or treat bag and throwing it at a Capitol Police officer. Then I remembered that my brother is a retired Capitol Police officer and still contends that Trump shouldn’t have been impeached. How sick is that??

+1 for Q-Nuts. That’s my new go-to name for them.

I would like to believe that somewhere in the vastness of the universe there exists a Boltzmann Brain copy of mine that is happy.

A large dairy animal approached Zaphod Beeblebrox’s table, a large fat meaty quadruped of the bovine type with large watery eyes, small horns and what might almost have been an ingratiating smile on its lips.

“Good evening,” it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, “I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in the parts of my body?”

It harrumphed and gurgled a bit, wriggled its hind quarters in to a more comfortable position and gazed peacefully at them.

Its gaze was met by looks of startled bewilderment from Arthur and Trillian, a resigned shrug from Ford Prefect and naked hunger from Zaphod Beeblebrox.

“Something off the shoulder perhaps?” suggested the animal, “braised in a white wine sauce?”

“Er, your shoulder?” said Arthur in a horrified whisper.

“But naturally my shoulder, sir,” mooed the animal contentedly, “nobody else’s is mine to offer.”

Zaphod leapt to his feet and started prodding and feeling the animal’s shoulder appreciatively.

“Or the rump is very good,” murmured the animal. “I’ve been exercising it and eating plenty of grain, so there’s a lot of good meat there.”

It gave a mellow grunt, gurgled again and started to chew the cud. It swallowed the cud again.

“Or a casserole of me perhaps?” it added.

“You mean this animal actually wants us to eat it?” whispered Trillian to Ford.

“Me?” said Ford, with a glazed look in his eyes, “I don’t mean anything.”

“That’s absolutely horrible,” exclaimed Arthur, “the most revolting thing I’ve ever heard.”

“What’s the problem Earthman?” said Zaphod, now transferring his attention to the animal’s enormous rump.

“I just don’t want to eat an animal that’s standing there inviting me to,” said Arthur, “It’s heartless.”

“Better than eating an animal that doesn’t want to be eaten,” said Zaphod.

How did Linus know it was Charlie Brown?

I think I’m missing the reference for that house. It looks very Addams Family, but I don’t think Chas started those until the 30s.

Oh, Percival.

I think that Moby-Dick, although it’s not a recent addition to the public domain, could be another of the flatulence classics. The meeting of Ishmael and Queequeg and their shared bed…

I used to enjoy Richie Rich comics when I was a kid. To tarnish the character by turning him into a Trump type is unforgivable.

Actually, a cow is an organism that continually generates beef.

Charlie: “Why can’t you be a normal, ordinary fascist like everybody else?”

Percival Dunwoody & Chaos Butterfly! A cross-over for the ages!

Willie Wealthy: “I bought the candy store to share with my friends. Now, how many shares would you like to buy? It’s a deal at $100 per share!”