Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for November 19, 2021

The zoo called and they need you to fill in for one of the monkeys.

Sorry, but when I read this strip, swearing is all that comes to mind.

Go look up some Don Rickles videos on YouTube Aunty. You’ll get all kinds of great insults.

Tintin’s friend, captain Haddock comes to mind.

I have a few.

He has less than three sulci.

He has the brains of a turnip.

He has the brains God gave a left-handed screwdriver.

May the ghost of Mother Mary Malone and her nine blind orphan children pursue you so far over the hills and dales that God Almighty couldn’t find you with a radio telescope.

Also, look up Foghorn Leghorn quotes.

“I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.” -Groucho Marx

Churchill was once accused by Bessie Braddock of being drunk, the exchange went something along the lines of:

Bessie: “Winston, you are drunk.“

Winston: “My dear, you are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.“

If you hadn’t been born the world would be a better place.

obsequious little prat

You are cordially invited to the the theological place of eternal punishment.

Personally, I don’t have one. But I heard a woman call a man a “pinecone” recently and I want to use that one so badly.

it’s not your fault – you were born that way…

Being from the South, the best is “Bless your heart”.

You remind me of Aunty Acid.

“Good Job”

“Jerk” or “Were they/you dropped on their/your head at birth? Several times? Used the umbilical cord like a YOYO??”

May you die and come back as a urinal.

I guess your little head does all your thinking for you.

“Your father’s semen is nothing but pimple puss!”

“Your mother had sex with a little furry animal, and you’re the proof!”

“Reagan lover.”

Bless your heart : )

More of a curse but, may you live forever and continue to be just like you are.

Bless your heart!

Grammar correction… ☺

Lots of great ones in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (but not all safe for use around children).

https://youtu.be/M9DCAFUerzs?t=90

Several bricks shy of a load

All his marbles aren’t round

Doesn’t have two neurons that fire together

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

His brain needs work

His mother called, she said to bring home some brains. They ran out there.

If he had a brain, he’d still be stupid…

When I was young, my sister and I would call each other “normal” as an insult.

Bless your heart.

You’re Fat! (it’s the worst thing you can say to a woman)

Describe your brain? Visualize a pea rolling around in a train box car.

“egg sucking dog”; “shovel nosed seagoing scorpion”; “two-bit, redneck peckerwood”.

I read it as ‘non-sweating’…

Rotten snigglefrats! I make them up on the spot so that I don’t curse in front of my family.

After reading the comments, I’m taking notes.

Does Preparation H pay you royalties?

“You’re funny, but looks aren’t everything.”

“You’ve got a face only a mother could love”…mom replies, “You wanna bet?” or “You’ve got a face that could make a train take a dirt road”…

Mine uses medical terminology but it’s still NSFW…

Fenderhead!

He can’t help it, he only has two brain cells, and one of them is questionable.

You’re so ugly, if my dog had your face I’d shave his bum and teach him to walk backwards.

You’re so gross you could gag a maggot.

You’re ugly, and your mother dresses you funny.

The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has long since departed.

If you put his brain on the head of a pin, it would roll around like a dried pea on a six-lane highway, bless his heart.

OH, Ffffffff-argo! (I live there).“Poodle Poop!” ~Young Sheldon

“May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!”

“May an elephant caress you with his toes”

“May your wife be plagued with runners in her hose”

He has a photographic memory… with the lens cap superglued on.

He’d pick a fight with a stop sign.

This boy’s so dumb, he thinks a pig pen is something you write with (Foghorn Leghorn).

“Bless your heart.”

Fudge, son of a monkey, dog gone it.

Few fries short of a happy meal.Few bulbs short of a Christmas tree.Bout as smart as a fence post.

I’ve known a couple people who were referred to as Zip and Zero.

(Zero was named after the Beetle Bailey character.)

Not playing with a full deck (of cards)….

One from Foghorn Leghorn: “Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice”

I know I’m fat, but you’re ugly and I can diet!

He’s so dumb…

He thinks a quarterback is a refund.

He thinks an elevator is a mobile home.

You tell him it’s chilly outside, he’ll fetch himself a bowl.

(“Bebe’s Kids”.)

“Brain Donor.” Someone who appears to have given their brain away; i.e., no longer in possession of a functioning brain. :D