Close to Home by John McPherson for April 16, 2023

Don’t put anything in. Just pass it down the line.

…and brought about a 50% drop in attendance.

Why are some of the people green?

Green with envy?!

What’s a religion without guilt and fear that money will help get peace and forgiveness by those who have had the power bestowed upon them?

Greatest tax free racket and opportunity based on only a person’s thoughts that this country has produced. L. Ron Hubbard played it like a virtuoso. Takes very little start-up cash investment too.

They are able to afford one of those instead of providing a decent sermon? – They don’t need my money then at all.

Wow! An extra thirteen and a half cents!!!

Just work one day a week and pay no taxes. Heavenly work.

Maybe he only makes $4.50 a year.

My coins do not have measles.

The church my parents forced on me did two things to shame us into donating: First, every week’s printed program listed the dollar total of donations given the week before, under the heading The Measure of Our Love (implying that not donating a lot meant you didn’t love God much). Second, and much worse, they published and distributed an annual booklet that listed the exact amounts given for the entire year for each and every member.

[Thanks for your measly: Target coupon for half off on a 12 pack of Charmin UltraSoft]

Back in the 70’s, a priest had the nerve to list the parishioners and what they donated or didn’t donate.

At that point I was throughly disgusted and stopped going to church, stopped baking for the nuns and priests, and stopped giving them huge handmade pine cone wreaths, and gifts…..etc! I was also asked to teach a class…

Want much?

Bleeb is here to observe, and he has certainly observed a lot of interesting things . . . and a LOT of fun things. However, if he is going to attempt to observe - and understand - the multitude of ways in which many humans practice their belief in a higher power, he has a long and challenging project ahead of him.

That money is used to pay for mortgage, utilities, upkeep, and the preacher’s salary.

Our church leaders haven’t given a message on tithing probably 12 to 15 years, no passing a plate either. There are donation boxes hanging on the wall by the doors, that’s it. The closest thing to that is the annual financial statement/summary presented in church, with copies given out to any member who wants one.

Maybe his 45 cents is 10%.

I’ve heard that some religions preach that the more you put in the collection plate, the better your “accommodation” in Heaven.

Imagine if the ATM spoke the truth like that…

Looks like Maple Vally could use an orthodontist!

But attendance dropped by 15.

Looks like chins are hard to draw.

So, this guy started giving 13 and a half cents more each week?

Let’s see one that makes change for a twenty. :)

What would grind me would be when I’d go to a service and the ENTIRE SERMON would be about how much money they needed for something like a new roof or a repaving of the parking lot. That kind of information can be put in the newsletter. If I take the time to dress up for and show up at church only to attend an infomercial, I’ve been cheated out of hearing the Word preached and also lost a valuable chunk of Sunday morning time that I’ll never get back. Would have been better off to stay in my ’jammies and to have read and meditated on Scripture in the comfort of my own home!

Mexican comedian Mario Alfonso Moreno Reyes “Cantinflas” once played the role of a priest in a movie. During collection time, a poor old lady gave one coin, he looked at it, grabbed a large bill, gave it to her, and said, “Thank you, here’s your change.” “But I only gave a coin—” “Don’t argue with the servants of the Lord.”

But that totals only 60 cents?

Artificial intelligence is everywhere? It takes money to run a church,too. Hardest part of the job for most religious leaders is asking for money, except for those on their special TV channels!

Give until it hurts. This guy has a low pain threshold

Hi Bleeb! Can I have a shoulder massage next? :)

At least it wasn’t “Hey, put that back!”.

Reminds me of the scene in To Kill a Mockingbird where Jem and Scout visit the Black church.

Maple Valley Church Hired amazons Alexa…

Nothing more sad than how the human race is getting dumber and dumber. At least it’s cute when 3 year olds believe in Santa Claus – it’s just pathetic when adults believe in something equally made up.

That lady next to Diamond Jim Brady looks like she’s going to swallow her face!