Close to Home by John McPherson for March 12, 2024

With a large back yard, a fireplace, and a sidewalk

Now I am the one who doesn’t know what to do!

I’m " sole-d "

That shoe has a high heel too, but it’s in the basement.

Shoe flipping is vastly overrated.

There was an old woman who lived in a boot,

It wasn’t that roomy, but it was kind of cute.

I swear I’m not joking; this story’s no Croc,

And it’s twenty times better than a home in a sock.

Her husband was a heel

Originally she was looking for a flat.

Bleebs her next door neighbor and waving hello.

The real estate agent knew this sale was a shoe-in.

The insoles are backed with arch support.

And it’s only got 50,000 miles on the odorometer!

They should have put in stretch laces. She’s got a growing family.

Hmmm, can I see sump’n in a New Balance?

It looks like a lefty, you got anything a little more conservative?

Anyone who wants to visit the shoe house, there is one in Pennsylvania.

https://WwW.HainesShoeHouse.Com/

May need to upgrade with an orthotic.

“How much sole space?”

“14 foot by 2 athletes foot and no shoe flies to boot.”

If things are a little tight, we can let you borrow, for free, the company shoehorn for easier move-in!

I’ll take it!

Man! Those chimneys are really pumpin’ out the smoke!

Take it and run……….

Now it’s insole-ated for the winter.

He’s a Heel Estate Agent.

And a mortgage rate that won’t sock it to you.

And it’s in a well heeled neighborhood.

Of course, now the neighborhood is zoned for footwear, there will be cross-trainers built four-high very, very soon.

Slogan for the Real Estate firm of Schuh & Tapps: Don’t play “Taps” until you’re all tapped out!

With all those kids and a shoe home she probably has tongues wagging.

“Sorry, I can’t foot the bill on that mortgage. Got something in a kicks-er-upper?”

And just look at how small the environmental footprint is on this property!

Wall to wall carpet?

There are a bunch of great puns, but I was hoping for someone to give the history of the lady living in a shoe. Usually for odd things there is a backstory.

This seems very familiar. Didn’t someone else just do this gag ?