Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 22, 2012

Mr. Pastis needs a talk to again.

From the Taxi episode “Reverend Jim: A Space Odyssey”:·Jim: “What does a yellow light mean?”Bobby: “Slow down.”Jim: “Okay. What… does… a… yellow… light… mean?”Bobby: “Slow down!”Jim: “Okay. Whaaaat… doooooes… aaaa… yellllllowww… liiiiight… meeeean?”·Et cetera.

I swear, if Pig were any slower, he’d be going backward.

Just be glad you’re not talking about baseball, Goat — or you’d be stuck in an interminable round of “Who’s on first?”

But what of Andy?

Q: Pete and Repete were sitting on a log. Pete fell off; who was left?A: Repete.Q: Pete and Repete were sitting on a log. Pete fell off; who was left?A: Repete.Q: Pete and Repete were sitting on a log. Pete fell off; who was left?A: Repete.Q: Pete and Repete were sitting on a log. Pete fell off; who was left?A: Repete.Q: Pete and Repete were sitting on a log. Pete fell off; who was left?A: Repete.Q: Pete and Repete were sitting on a log. Pete fell off; who was left?A: Repete.Q: Pete and Repete were sitting on a log. Pete fell off; who was left?A: Repete.Q: Pete and Repete were sitting on a log. Pete fell off; who was left?A: Repete.Q: Pete and Repete were sitting on a log. Pete fell off; who was left?A: Repete.

is he the charlotte’s web pig?

Aaaand…. just yesterday Graham Harrop did it on Ten Cats

Just take a baseball bat to Pig, Goat. Tell him it’s a clapper and your about to demonstrate what it does.

Sorry, Goat, but you are not communicating clearly. You should have said “it rings the bell.” That would have killed the joke, but then you and Pig could have gone to Cartoon-Pastis and unloaded on him, ’cause he deserves it.

A person who takes the instructions, “Lather, rinse, repeat” literally, could end up in an eternal loop.

Do yo know Arafat’s first name?.Yassir.

“You know that Austrian racing driver, Niki …”“Lauda?”“YOU KNOW THAT AUSTRIAN RACING DRIVER, NIKI …”“Lauda!”“YOU KNOW THAT AUSTRIAN RACING DRIVER, NIKI …”

I can’t believe that, that dumb Pig is doing a crossword puzzle!

That was “Blazing Saddles.”

Never had a clapper, but I hear it takes antibiotics to get rid of….

Q: Can I ask you a question?

A: You just did.

Q: OK, can I ask you another question?

A: You just did.

This is one of the strips that makes me glad I can switch to “Apartment 3-G”!!

Goat’s answer does have appeal . . . ☻

♪♫♪♫♪♫♪Then pealed the goat more loud and deep:“IT RINGS A BELL,NOW GO TO [BLEEP]!”

Who’s on first?

Love it! Love all the comments. Lots of laughs.

Pigs to stupid, goats to angry to figure it out

EXCELLENT!

xxx

[The series continues in the same vein several more times, and ends like this:}#2: What’s ‘is nyme? (Hic.)#1: Gladshton. Gladshton’s ‘is nyme, Gladshton.#2: Wot did ’E do?#1: I’ll bloody well SHOW you wot ’e did![Narrator says something to the effect of, “And thus began the fight!”]Can anyone identify this routine?

he shd just say “it rings THE bell.”

Reminds me of the Taxi sketch where Reverend Jim is taking a written drivers test: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvn-tBeLpCk

Shopper:“Excuse me sir, where can I find canned peaches?”Store clerk: “Aisle C”(pause)Shopper: “Well?”Clerk: “I said ‘Aisle C’”Shopper: But you’re just standing there!

The clapper is Quasimoto?

My grand kids sing,

“O, I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves,Everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves.O, I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, And this is how it goes:”[Repeat]

While I’m at it, in my last post, the guy’s final comment should have been, “Oi’ll bloody well SHOW you wot ’e did!”

I know you can bold words, and you can italisise words, and you can do both , but how do you underline text?