Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 25, 2013

All this time and Goat still doesn’t understand the crocs?

Hey, a Charlie Brown Lamp.

Oh no, is Larry really dead? I hope not. Maybe he’ll pull a Bilbo Baggins and show up to find everyone carting off his stuff.

And a bucket of KFC leaves the building.

Dead crocodile hunters.

Crocs are nothing if not opportunists.

I wonder who gets the house if not the widow and son.

In a related story: new flea market belt & wallet stall opens…

I hope Larry isn’t dead. :(

I hope Stephan is going to help those crocs move all his stuff back when it turns out he isn’t dead…….

Now we know where Larry is. He’s been hiding out in the Zeeba Zeeba Eata frat house.

Oh, no! Cartoon-Boy has killed Larry! (—At least for today.) Larry must un-die; or, more prosaically, return from his adventure with the Killer Dolphins to find his home stripped bare by his croc buddies….

As pathetic as the crocs are, including Larry, I’m almost everyone is holding out hope Larry will return. You hear that, Larry? People want you back!

Ees verry sad wheen crok dies. Speshully eef you not fast enuff to be first eento hees howse to get stuf.

That croc who has the couch is NOT a thief…he’s a psychiatrist making a house-call!!

Zeeba and Goat are obviously fascinated . . . watching Crocs congregating in their native habitat, and observing how well adapted they are to their predatory lifestyle . . .

KFC, packed beer cooler, TV and a couch. Let the Greiving process begin.

The crocs had to get ready for the Stupid Bowl.

You know that they are eventually going to find Larry’s body and discover that the Dolphins did not eat him… The Crocs will attempt to prove that he died by ingesting Polonium that Zeeba had put into his food….

NO, NO, NO, – Larry CAN’T DIE – Say it ain’t so.

You know, there has never been proof that Larry died. We haven’t seen his body yet. I’m still thinking he’s alive somewhere.

So Larry is dead? Goodnight, sweet prince, I promised not to read this again if he was so I’m gone. Good bye, good luck, and sorry.

When my grandmother’s parents (she was 7) died and news spread around the neighborhood, that’s what her neighbors did too.

Charming!

LOL xxx

Dat bad break, Larry

This CEASE AND DESIST ORDER is to inform you that your persistent actions including but not limited to HAVING LARRY DEAD have become unbearable. You are ORDERED TO STOP such activities immediately as they are being done in violation of the law.

I have the right to remain free from these activities as they constitute A VERY SAD EVENT FOR THE READERS, and I will pursue any legal remedies available to me against you if these activities continue. These remedies include but are not limited to: contacting law enforcement to obtain criminal sanctions against you, and suing you civilly for damages I have incurred as a result of your actions.

Again, you must IMMEDIATELY REVIVE LARRY and send me written confirmation that you will stop such activities. You risk incurring some very severe legal consequences if you fail to comply with this demand.

This letter acts as your final warning to discontinue this unwanted conduct before I pursue legal actions against you. At this time, I am not contacting the authorities or filing civil suit against you, as I hope we can resolve this matter without authoritative involvement. I am not under any circumstances, however, waiving any legal rights I have presently, or future legal remedies against you by sending you this letter. This order acts as ONE FINAL CHANCE for you to cease your illegal activities before I exercise my rights.

To ensure compliance with this letter, and to halt any legal action I may take against you, I require you to fill in and sign the attached form and mail it back to me within 10 days of your receipt of this letter. Failure to do so will act as evidence of your infringement upon my legal rights, and I will immediately seek legal avenues to remedy the situation.

How did the croc get Charlie Brown’s lamp? Where is Charlie Brown? :@(

Explains why nobody else was at the funeral. The former Mrs. Larry and son might be better off without him, they’re the smartest crocs in the strip. Maybe she marries guard duck?

No lava lamp?

Mrs Larry can always get work as an Elvis tribute artist. All she needs is a little black dye …wait! Did I say dye? How insensitive of me. Never mind.

He’s gone afar, he’ll come no moreThe neighbors sadly say.And so they batter down the doorTo take his goods away.

- A. Bierce

“We had a great time, Larry! I had no idea you were such an Enya fan…”

“Ees, um, a new habby uf mine. U like da new album I— Hey, where my stuff go?”

I noticed no one ran off with his wife.

Larry must have had the cute killer dolphin for lunch, and has been sleeping it off. After all a dolphin with no legs would have no chance against a croc on land.

I wonder what happened to the Cache of Beer in the closet that Larry Spent his College Fund on that his Father gave to him.

Larry ain’t dead – yet.

stealing crocs not surprised

I think everybody does that…

Noooooooooooooo!