Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 25, 2013

Except in this case.

Interestingly, Pig as well as Rat and Goat are in the Chinese zodiac (expect that Rat begins it and Pig ends it).

Sing along with Sherlock: “I’m so dizzy, my head is spinning…”

. . . or zebra, crocadile, neighbour Bob, duck, cat . . .

This reminds me of an old Far Side cartoon. The newscaster is saying The science of astrology gained a huge leap in credibility when every person born under the sign of Scorpio was run over by an ice cream truck today.

Cookie reverse side: “The last sound you will ever hear will be ‘flush’.”

What we are witnessing today, Pig, is a fifty per cent accuracy rate….

I personally dislike fortune cookies – the filling always tastes like paper!

I got a fortune once that said “Ignore previous cookie.” Which was just as well b/c I couldn’t remember what the previous cookie said, anyway…

Then you will be flushed down the toilet.

“Help! I am being held prisoner in a fortune-cookie factory!”

I’m reminded of the time that Homer Simpson got a fortune cookie that said “You will find happiness with a new love” and took it as a sign that he was going to cheat on Marge. The we hear one of the restaurant employees say “We’re out of the ‘new love’ cookies” and his coworker replies “Well open up the ‘Stick with your wife’ barrel.”

OW

Yes pig, it’s inaccurate. Gomer will not swim in circles “forever”.

Are there people who STILL believe that their so-called lives are determined by tons of overheated gas millions of miles from this planet?!?

Ever heard Weird Al Yankovic’s “Your Horoscope for Today”?

Poor ol’ Gomer…

LOL xxx

My wife once got a fortune that said, “Contemplate Charlton Heston.”