Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 26, 2013

Beer…

I’m sure they feel the same way about you, Rat.

As always, Rat only says true things.

MMMMMMMMIf that’s what’s for dinner, I’m on my way. I’ll bring cheesecake, nu?

Family…. the only thing better than welcoming them is watching them go.

I prefer my meat well done, but otherwise I find your menu excellent!…………………………….Rat, you could have hopped a plane yourself, for “a long-planned vacation” in Hong Kong, vel sim.

I found the key to happiness, but somebody changed the locks!!

At least he has his friends to make him happy…

Relatives of mine are, but if I had my druthers, I wish I was a Alien!

Rat is like many people. Happiest when he has something to gripe about. But I like him.

Mine were talking about a visit here (with our 70F weather) but then daughter remembered sizes of my guest beds, and settled for our Skype.

Plus a note from your cardiologist saying that it’s OK this time.

I know that Rat and Goat (possibly Zebra) have other talks about relatives being to close, wish I could find them again.

Wow, I completely agree with Rat. Fortunately, all my relatives are an expensive plane trip away.

Early on I implemented an 800 mile rule. I moved ≈ 800 miles from all of them. It still works.

@Gokie 5 and @JP “FREE DRY” Steve—Re your 12/25/13 comments—Glad to see that others still enjoy Mr. Lindley Armstrong Jones (and if THAT were your name, wouldn’t U have altered it to Spike as soon as U could?!?)Happy MMXIV!

Happiness is an 21 year old blonde millionaire nymphomaniac that owns a liquor store.

Happiness:

I have found happiness!

For me sadness was no one in the family with a hadicap friendly entrance after a long car ride.

In my life I have found two things of priceless worth—learning and loving. Nothing else—not fame, not power, not achievement for its own sake—can possibly have the same lasting value. For when your life is over, if you can say “I have learned” and “I have loved,” you will also be able to say “I have been happy.” (Arthur C. Clarke)

I’ll bring asparagus roasted in olive oil and sprinkled with a slight bit of herbes de provence; and a cabernet franc from old growth vines in the Cucamonga Valley.