Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 06, 2014
Transcript:
Pig: Hey, Rat, who's your friend? Rat: He's the don of one of the local crime families. But don't bother him. He's messing with some flashlight. Don: It's okay. I'm just putting batteries in it. Pig: Why is it shaped like a woman? Don: It's Elizabeth Hurley, that actress from 'Austin Powers.' I think she's beautiful, so I had it specially made. Pig: Wow, that's really.... Ron: Pig! Pig! I need your help. Pig: Hey, Ron Cey, former third baseman for the L.A. Dodgers. What do you need? Ron: I dropped my keys outside, but it's too dark to find them. Got a light I can borrow? Don: Here. Borrow mine. Ron: Thank you, sir. Be right back. Don: Gosh, I hope it works. Not sure if those batteries were fresh. Pig: Oh... I should check. Oh, key, can you see by the Don's Hurley light? Rat: I'll let a professional hit you.
Bilan over 10 years ago
Now Pastis is opening himself up for a Cey-lander lawsuit,
Sherlock Watson over 10 years ago
Any place where you can find puns like this is truly the home of the brave.:Play ball!
noahproblem over 10 years ago
It’s a good thing he didn’t bring in Fernando Valenzuela – the last thing this strip needs is a pun based on an ABBA song (and one of their weaker ones at that)…
finale over 10 years ago
mmmmm….Liz Hurley.
Trilobyte Premium Member over 10 years ago
Does this mean it is time for some baseball?
favm over 10 years ago
I think this is one of his best puns.
i_am_the_jam over 10 years ago
That was…interesting
Varnes over 10 years ago
What about Jose? Can he see? Ask him…
blunebottle over 10 years ago
Actually, that one was worth waiting for.
cdgar over 10 years ago
For some reason Stephan thinks Sunday is a good excuse to subject us to dumber than usual cartoons?
CrouchingBruin over 10 years ago
The Penguin!
Ida No over 10 years ago
And this is why I like reading PBS.
FabulousJewels over 10 years ago
No! Don’t hit my favorite cartoonist!
legaleagle48 over 10 years ago
This is his best pun since “Dunk rye for me, Arch and Tina!”
I wonder how hard it is for him to come up with these gems?
Michelle Morris over 10 years ago
Okay,people! When every panel is crammed with dialogue-pun’s a-comin’!
Sisyphos over 10 years ago
Cartoon-Boy probably reverse-engineers these potent puns. Start with a punch line (a famous quotation, a line from a poem or song, a popular saying, etc.), then work on witty alternative wording, and then construct a set-up to fit. Today’s pun is very amusing, but also frightfully constructed, in the sense of necessitating introducing a couple of ad hoc characters and some improbable dialogue.Mechanics aside, this is very funny stuff, Cartoon-Boy! Now take your beating from Cey like a man!
WCLamb over 10 years ago
Maybe Stephan should place a “Groaner Alert” in the first panel for those newbies who aren’t used to he pun-strips.
chris_o42 over 10 years ago
Actually it takes a lot of thought to put that all together! I love the puns.
Kip W over 10 years ago
When I see one of those starting, I skip to the end. It’s quicker and equally rewarding.
Cary Rodda Premium Member over 10 years ago
The more complicated the pun, the better. I think it’s hilarious you got Ron Cey in there. :)
elbob83709 over 10 years ago
Excellent groaner, it is.
Dabattlebacca over 10 years ago
Go for the home run, Steph!
Vida.sin.frenos over 10 years ago
Was it a flashlight or in reality a fleshlight?
currency1896 over 10 years ago
super sunday
Paul Billingslea Premium Member over 10 years ago
If not your best pun, certainly in the top 5! Don’t listen to the haters, keep them coming.
Walaitis over 10 years ago
It’s the perfect strip .. The Penguin and a guy IN a penguin suit!
rgcviper over 10 years ago
I knew the pun was coming, yet I couldn’t look awaaaay …
DBjorn over 10 years ago
This is epic!
celeconecca over 10 years ago
sheer perfection!
YatInExile over 10 years ago
I don’t know what’s worse, the pun or the convoluted setup.
Stocky One over 10 years ago
Standard comic strips don’t have a lot of text – they get to the joke, usually something short, quickly. With Pastis’ extended puns, you have to read quite a bit more, but it’s worth the wait. The man is a genius!
MeGoNow Premium Member over 10 years ago
The sad thing is, when you see the black stare on his face, even as he’s about to get wallopped, you just know he’s churning away to think up another stinker.
Qiset over 10 years ago
Sorry, I want to encourage him! I love the puns!
KEA over 10 years ago
wow… i wonder how long that took to set up.
chabias over 10 years ago
That was a great one. Good job, Steph!!
Chief Inspector over 10 years ago
This is my new all time favoriteStephan if you can top this ill be amazed
Arty8846 over 10 years ago
I can see a set up from the first panel. I hope he never runs out of material.
Jon Schutter over 10 years ago
He he…. I like this one.
marshalljpeters Premium Member over 10 years ago
I think Stephan does these on Sunday for 2 reasons. More space to set it up, and not as many people will see it (only those who read it online, or get the Sunday paper). He runs some of his lamer strips on Saturday for the same reason.
I do enjoy his Sunday puns most of the time. It’s interesting to see how he leads up to it.
Melekalikimaka over 10 years ago
That was a terrific tribute to baseball and opening day.
Morganeee over 10 years ago
I don’t get it :( Can someone please explain the pun to me? English is not my mother tongue and I don’t know if I know the reference.
Hillbillyman over 10 years ago
An absolutely brilliant pun!
WaltWenger Premium Member over 10 years ago
Oh, the humanity!
A_NY_Outlaw over 10 years ago
How long does it take for Pastis to come up with these?
Patricia Bocklage Premium Member over 10 years ago
Pastis always goes the extra mile to work out these puns! I can tell something is up starting in the first panel, but I don’t let myself peak at the end, so I don’t ruin the buildup. :)
phlash over 10 years ago
equally valid with Jose Canseco
whiteaj over 10 years ago
What a LOT of work for such a lame punch line.
sterling3 Premium Member over 10 years ago
….so….awesome….
d_odds over 10 years ago
Keep punning Mr. Pastis. Those are groans of joy at the end.
Malcolm Hall over 10 years ago
Remarkable. You can’t always get what you’ve won.
Number Three over 10 years ago
Another one of Stephan’s guest characters wanting to hit him with the bat.
Whatever next?
xxx
chollacat Premium Member over 10 years ago
I like this one, it’s fun. Would be much better without the last panel.
heatherjasper over 10 years ago
As Ramona, from Beverly Clearly’s books, said: Can you see by the downzer’s lee light?
David Rickard Premium Member over 10 years ago
I give that one three groans
bsqnbay over 10 years ago
Very creative! He gets bonus points for working the Penguin into the strip!
knight1192a over 10 years ago
Please Rat and Ron, hit him especially hard for this pun.
craigwestlake over 10 years ago
Stephan, I gotta’ say this is one of your best (worst?)…
finnygirl Premium Member over 10 years ago
I admire Stephan’s ability to think out these complicated puns, and I love them!
claire de la lune. over 10 years ago
ha.
claire de la lune. over 10 years ago
the setup is convoluted. and i like it that way.
Reppr Premium Member over 10 years ago
I can Cey clearly now the rain has gone….
Ermine Notyours over 10 years ago
Any more puns like that, and some readers will show Stephen where to stick those batteries. (But not me; I love puns!)
Julius Marold Premium Member over 10 years ago
That one took some work. Still laughing….
Kev_a_Swing_Dancer Premium Member over 10 years ago
Hall of Famer, this one; it all fits so well.
Kev_a_Swing_Dancer Premium Member over 10 years ago
… together …
Nobody_Important over 10 years ago
Loved it!
crenshawdk over 10 years ago
I understand now why cartoon Stephans wife left him
heggy over 10 years ago
Could someone please explain this pun to a non-native speaker? =)
singlefemalelaywer over 10 years ago
LOVE IT !!!!!!! But make sure that Ron ’swings for the fence"
prunes666 over 10 years ago
Steph! You’ve actually managed to find the absolute bottom of the barrel; dig beneath THAT; and reach a depth so low it’s beyond anyone’s possible comprehension! Good for you!!
Kali39 over 10 years ago
Technically speaking, shouldn’t the Don be the one to take care of Stephan for that pun? I’m sure he would be much more imaginative than a baseball player…
(hint: Pig’s head in Stephan’s bed, that sort of thing. I would have suggested Rat, but his head is too small to make the right point)
Kali39 over 10 years ago
So, if the pun is the lowest form of humor, does that make Pearls the lowest form of comedy?
Pedmar Premium Member over 10 years ago
Normally I don’t like puns, but Pastis’s set-ups are so elaborate and imaginative that I make an exception in his case. This one was as brilliant as “Dunk rye for me, Arch and Tina”!
dadalane over 10 years ago
Someone else said it to, but the best since Dunk Rye for me Arch and Tina! God I died for 5 minutes. You know it at the first panel this is gonna be one of those, it took me 3 minutes to read it trying to figure it out. Ron Cey completely confounded me. Absolutely great
Kali39 over 10 years ago
The Colonel says (and we paraphrase), “Now, I’ve noticed a tendency for this strip to get rather silly. Now I do my best to keep things moving along, but I’m not having things getting silly. This Sunday strip did get very silly indeed. And that last one was even sillier. Now, nobody likes a good laugh more than I do, except perhaps my wife and some of her friends. Oh yes, and Captain Johnson. Come to think of it, most people like a good laugh more than I do, but that’s beside the point.”…(Hail Monty Python!)
Droshala almost 10 years ago
Yeah, they should have sent the Don to deal with Pastis. Never bring a baseball bat to a gun fight.
jackproarty over 6 years ago
Pearls Before Swine=Land of Plot Convenience