Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 20, 2016

Just take the literature and tell them to get lost.

On an old episode of SNL (back when the show was funny), a woman heard someone at her door claiming to be a Jehovah’s Witness; thinking it was the Land Shark trying to trick her, she opened the door and quickly used a wooden mallet to knock out… a Jehovah’s Witness.:No offense to anyone, but that was one funny sketch.

And now Croc-a-diles fell back in their roomOnly to find Gideon’s bibleLarry checked out and he left it no doubtTo help with the croc’s revival

Crocodiles need a better plan to kill (and eat) Zebra.

Very good Bilan. Say “Hi” to Nancy.

Zebra needs to find Tarzan for protection.

I’m suddenly remembering a Carlin bit about a chalk outline and scattered religious pamphlets to scare away these folks. But the crocs of the frat are too stupid to get that message.

Anti-smoking and anti-obesity! THE HORROR! THE HORROR!

The day of the Lord will come…as a croc at your front door during the day.

Nice try Crocs, better luck next time ! Zebra tastes like chicken anyways so go to “KFC”

The crocs are so cute in suits!

I only talk to missionaries when I want to play games with their superstitions and misinformation.

So the Crocs have been radicalized by Al-Gata

God is all-knowing and all-powerful, but he can’t be mocked or his feelings will be hurt.

We have croc brain religion sales folks at our door too frequently these days.

Poor Zeeba Neighba! The crocs have got religion, and they are mis-using it to justify their threats to his life! Try something stronger than a cup of tea, Zebra, and get a steel-reinforced safety-door (worth the investment with neighbors like that)….

LOL

I had the exact same encounter with some Jehovah’s Witnesses last week…

A recent study (reported in this week’s Science magazine) showed that a 10-minute front-door conversation can reverse antitransgender bias in 10% of people. All you need to do is help people realize how crappy they feel when someone reacts negatively to them.

I thought liberals would want people to eat and smoke themselves to an early death to keep SS solvent?(snark)

I still have yet to hear from the Left posters any cogent, well thought out argument. Just sarcasm and mockery as I mentioned before — indicating you folks really have no logical response.

ragtime78rpm – You’d need to make a logical argument to get a logical response. You posted a non-sequitur tangent that included a conspiracy theory – sarcasm and mockery are the appropriate response.

I tell them I’m Catholic, there’s no hope. They never know what to say besides “have a good day”

Tell the crocs to take a dump in their magic underwear.

It’s pretty sad that this is one of the more well-thought out plans that the Crocs have attempted.

I’m neither an Athiest or a Christian.

Which means I’m not hated by anyone. Isn’t it great!

xxx

Thanks for the info. I was glad to hear the majority of people act with politeness. While I am not a believer in any “organized” religion, I realize many are and if they believe strongly enough to do the missionary work I have to respect that.Yet, I have had some (not LDS nor Mormon) that wanted to tell me that I was going to hell for not listening to them…..I was not impressed.

Looks like some folks posting comments have forgotten that this is a comic strip which NO one, particularly in the government, is forcing them to read. You can always switch the channel to—heaven forbid—Mallard Fillmore.

When I was in college, we lived below some fellows who had a Great Dane. They did not lock their door! One day a Jehovah’s Witness rang their bell, and the dog came hurtling down. He was too big for the staircase. We never saw any JW’s after that.

Wow!!! So awesome to see such zeal on one of my favorite comics! (Well, the comments anyway) It really made my day to read all that after coming home from work. Keep up the good work and good news my friend!

“No Solicitors” signs simply don’t apply to us.I have a sign that says “Unless you’re selling Girl Scout cookies, we’re not interested.” That pretty much covers it.

I would think the Crocs are adherents of Mustafaism. “Give your spirit over to the Circle of Life!”

Most people stopped opening the door to strangers back in the 1970s. Since Zebra knows the crocs, there’s even less reason for him to open the door.

The bible also says that bats are birds (Leviticus 11.19). So what is your point?

And hat’s why I never answer the door to strangers.

Hullooo, my name ees Elder BobAnd I would like to share with youThe most amazing bookHullooo, my name ees Elder GrantIt’s a book about AmericaA long, long time ago

I’ve tried being polite. Saying, I’m sorry but I’m perfectly happy with my faith.Or:No thank you.OrNo thank you, I’m not going to change religions.All to no avail.

One that stopped one repeat JW or LDS trespasser, was Hi, I’m gay and you are really cute, why don’t you give me your number and we can go out on a date, I know a really good bar where transsexuals put on really great show.You should have seen the eyes on that guy and how quickly he walked backed.

I have a friend who is a Bible study teacher, he invites them in and tries to convert them to Catholicism. He knows the Bible back words and forwards, and can quote Book, Chapter, Passage. After two attempts they stopped coming.

I’m thinking next time I’ll tell them how to prevent the spread of AIDS and give them condoms, I could even use a banana to show how to put one on.

Then again I’m in Texas, I can point a gun at them and tell them to get off my property. Hey, I finally found a good use for my states crazy gun laws.

As for lefty/righty laws dictating behavioral choices… I live in Kennesaw, Georgia. Check out the Wikipedia entry on my town for the text of the law (of which I am in violation) that requires heads of household to OWN A GUN. Some exemptions are given, but none apply so me. So I am a scofflaw at best and a criminal at worst in this matter. I have tons more experience with politically motivated laws coming from the right than the left, having grown up in Mississippi, lived in Texas, Tennessee, bad Georgia. The dreaded left has never oppressed me or my friends insofar as I can discern. The right? Don’t even wanna START on that list.

And so, as the sun sets quietly in the east (sic, the west of this were real), many families go back to their TVs, or cleaning their guns, or pondering which electorial candidate will be the least worse, this lone JW sits before the keyboard nibbling on chips, homemade dip, and drinking a dark beer.*I wonder which one of you will turn out to be the next us. After all, we were all one of you one day. We come from you. We ARE you. Only something caught our attention, something jazzed our minds, something caused our hearts to beat faster . . . and the journey began. A journey to finding out what the Bible really teaches. A journey seeing how most religions have lied to you. A journey where you put your arms away, kiss your children and spouses goodnight, be better people, even try to help others be better people, and ultimately enjoy life forever with the very best friend anyone could ask for: our Creator, Jehovah God, the God of the Bible.*None of us thought that would ever happen. All of us are deeply grateful it did.*So sleep well, cuddle, kiss the family good night, because a better tomorrow awaits, and who knows: maybe a chance encounter with someone you’ve typically held in derision will stop by and change your life forever.*If so, give them a few minutes to say something interesting. What have you got to lose?*Good night.

Reminds me of the Jehovah’s Witness pit bull lurking in Binkley’ dad’s anxiety closet over in Bloom County.

@Vonne AntonYour freedom of speech ends at my door. When multiple attempts at being polite doesn’t work, being rude and vulgar is all that’s left.

As far as the gun comment goes:First, I live in an extremely Red state, and I’m bright Blue. I’m pro gun control and anti-gun. For full disclosure, I do own several guns, all willed to me by my late father, they are still locked up in a gun safe which I do not have the combination to.

So my thought of using a gun to order people off my property is a joke. In fact, that I said I found a good use for my state’s CRAZY gun control laws makes it a joke.