Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 02, 2016

Even people living on commissions have their pride.

I don’t think the salesman’s going to take that lying down.

snoresville

Salesman Fail #1: you still have to laugh, if you want to get to the close.

You serta knew that punchline was coming.Especially if you have a memoryfoam for Pastis’ humor.But I’ll give it a beautyrest now.

Meatloaf’s “Paradise By The Dashboard Lights” Let me sleep on it,Baby,Baby…..Let me sleep on it………………

Well, have you heard, “Take my wife…please!”? Oh. Well how about….

Pig bought a new mattress.The deal was signed, Sealy, and delivered.

Is that an attorney at a mattress store?

It was funny the first 10,000 times I heard it.

So, when are mattresses NOT on sale? When you need one….

Time to give that beauty a rest.

buh-dum-bum THWACK!

The dental equivalent is; “doc, you’re looking down in the mouth today.”

Pig probably does need a nap after thinking that hard.

Maybe if he bought something, it would cushion the blow.

Clerks nametag has “Storename” on top, “Since 1995” on the bottom, and the clerk’s name in the middle; so, “Sally Since 1995”. She knows it’s coming, and has her answer ready: “Fred!” I know she knows it’s coming and has heard it a hundred times, but I am forced to ask it anyway; I could never walk away from a straight line. Or IN a straight line, depending on the hour (there’s an example for ya).

I would totally say something like that.

We have a Rock Soft futon, only $250 for a queen-sized and for $25 they’ll rebuild it when it needs fluffing up!

BRRRMMMM CHI !!!!

the caption that should accompany panel 2…

Would be funnier if pig were lying on one of the showroom models.

Oh, Pig! Don’t quit your day job! [Do you even have one?]Because, you know, you need something to fall back on….

Pastis needs some Beautyrest.

The two mattress stores in my area recently became Mattress Firm. When I first saw the new name the emphasis on Firm really struck me and I ended up joking about it in that old TV wrestling announcer voice from the ‘80s and early ’90s. It just sounded to me like it oughta be the kind of place you’d have gone to watch Hulk Hogan, Randy “Macho Man” Savage, Andre the Giant, Rowdy Roddy Piper, and others from that era.

I don’t know. I found it really funny.

But then I must be easily pleased.

xxx

Old junk bought. Fine antiques sold.

I’m about to lose my Temperpedic.

Bring Pigita for a test

Like asking where the beyond section is at Bed,Bath and Beyond

30th comment

Can I sleep on a spring mattress on any other season?

Luckily when the seller gets too tired of that joke, he can use a mattress to rest a bit