Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 10, 2016

Knock, knock…

Sounds like the fashion police.

Boy does this ever nail our current “who is offended” codes of speech.

The humor police officer here should’ve gone to today’s “Peanuts Begins.”

There is a name for this man, and he just got put into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for the next four years. Oh, and Rat is surely about to live there in the Pearls world, for that matter.

One of my favorites:

:

A priest, a rabbi, a horse, a duck, and a pig all walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, “Is this a joke?”

Three men walk into a bar. You’d think one of them would duck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 1. To see a man lay bricks. 2. To prove to the possum that it could be done.

That joke is disrespectful to chickens!

He was proving to the ’possum that it can be done.

“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.”

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

To get to the same side.

Just say “NO” to the PC Police !

So any chicken crossing road joke is okay? Hmm, let me see if I can think of an “offensive” one.

Tender Is The Night, read to the tune of Don’t Touch Me There.

This is funny. It would be WAAAAY funnier if it weren’t true… but it’s funny.

Why did the woman cross the road? I dunno, why do women do anything?

1. What RACE of chicken2. Gender: What about roosters3. Chickens are VEGETERIANS4.If the joke doesn’t tell the TRUTH, it might state an OPINION

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to YOUR house.

Knock knock. (who’s there)…the chicken.

Sounds more like the PC Police.

I was out late last night clubbing … baby seals … and man, are my arms tired.

How many fraternity members does it take to change a lightbulb?

11- one to hold the bulb, and 10 to drink until the room begins to spin

“Knock Knock”-“Who’s there?”-“Interrupting Cow”-“Interrupting Co -”-“MOO!”

Are you kidding, Stephan? Did you write this strip before the events of this week? We’re SUPPOSED to make fun of people because of their race, ethnicity, religion,politics, sexual orientation, gender, age, and disability. That’s what the best and brightest do now. It’s the New American Way.

No need to be crass. Flagged

Chicken is just another word for a SJW.

I’m offended by his list.

So…does he have a warrant out for Toon Boy?

Why did the chicken go to the middle of the street? To lay it on the line.

Why did the turtle cross the street? To get to the Shell station.

The problem with a lot of humor is that too often, it is inviting people to laugh at certain people, usually those with the least amount of power. Now, many of those groups are just plain tired of being the butt of everyone else’s jokes.

I wonder if it is at all possible for humans to laugh with each other instead of picking out a section of the group to laugh at?

Probably not. We do the best we can,

A dyslexic man walks into a bra…

Being offended is a choice people make, nobody can force anyone to get offended.

I will say this humor police dude is pretty funny if he thinks he can enforce all that.

Why did the chicken cross the “T” intersection? Because she got an “A” in penmanship.

Hey, I thought we elected Trump to get rid of this PC crap?

People who are easily offended offend me.

Puns are the only allowed form of humor.

the gluten thing is wrong

we must start coming up with plenty more jokes poking fun at the PC dickheads . any ideas?

:

How about this:

Why did the political correctness advocate cross the road?

To avoid some dangerous-looking black people.

That is probably the lamest joke ever.

In fact it shouldn’t even be called a joke.

xxx

Why did the baby cross the road?It was stapled to the chicken…

A black Hispanic Evangelical Republican, a gay transgender man, and a *$#@$^% ugly old guy in a wheelchair came into a bar; the barkeep asked “Hey, is this a joke!?”{

Knock Knock!

Who’s there?

Interrupting Cow.

Interrupting C…

MOO!

the Yolks on them then

I am offended by chicken stereotypes.

I am offended by Humor Policeman’s stereotypical outmoded uniform and mustache.

I am also offended by chickens, if they are not cooked properly; too often I’ve had to send restaurant chicken back to the kitchen because it was inadequately cooked.

Whatcha gonna do, Cartoon-Boy, when the Humor Police come for you?

Just keep your jokes coming, Pastis!We don’t care about PC POLICE here.

A Frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says “That’s cool, where did you get him?” The parrot says “I got him in France. There’s plenty of ’em over there.”

From one grammar nerd to another:

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

To.

To who?

No, it’s to whom.

Actually, the first version of the chicken joke I heard was:

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To get away from Colonel Sanders.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh please, DON’T exclude vegetarians! Trust me, we can take it! (23 years and counting)

Anyone who thinks the “why did the chicken cross the road” is the only joke acceptable, Why are you so goddamn PC (Polliticaly Correct)?

Political correctness has gone a wee bit too far these days.