Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 17, 2017

Is this how PBS ends?

Weird Al already did this for us, so we don’t have to.

I don’t know about dangerous. Funny? Maybe.

That taking candy from strangers is dangerous. Only true if you get caught!

Another thing we were told as kids was that if you step on a crack you’ll break your mother’s back. NOT TRUE! Well I mean that it never worked for me. ;-)

No, no. Running with scissors is fine. It’s falling with scissors that’s dangerous.

Oh….no more Pastis.

Besides, running with rocks beats running with scissors.

Stephan’s first self-inflicted and pun-unrelated wound.

R.I.P. Steph

“Mama always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun, but mama, that’s where the fun is” … B.Springsteen

My mama always told me to never eat anything larger than your own head.

Though she was born a long, long time ago,

Your mother should know.

Your mother should know.

Oh my god. They killed Stephen. You bastards.

He’s O.K., they just went into his brain, so it missed any VITAL organs that Toon-boy was actually using!

Rat’s been trying to kill Patsis for ages now due to all the Puns. I’m surprised he’s not more overjoyed in the strip above…

You can run with scissors just fine – just not like that. Also the first one is true, but it takes a while.

RIP, Cartoon Boy.

Mother of mercy, is this the end of Stephan?

(And it’s not the fault of you, dirty Rat?!)

Was he wearing clean underwear?

His mother wants to know.

Go head. Run with scissors. If you poke your eye out, don’t come see me.

A decently funny analysis of the “mother-myth” subject: http://alwaysaband.blogspot.com/2005/09/my-mom-didnt-exactly-lie-to-me.html

There is always the possibility that his self inflicted frontal lobotomy will make the strip better.

Pastis! You’re supposed to stab somebody else with the scissors, you knucklehead!

My problem with running with scissors is not that it’s dangerous. It’s that the scissors can’t keep up, with their little short legs.

“I’d rather have a free bottle in front of me, than a pre-frontal lobotomy….”

When I was a kid Mom told me to never grow up and I never did.

This behavior is so unusual for Rat.

He didn’t even get snippy.

In just these comments, I’ve seen a line stolen from a movie (Ratbrat), a song (Arianne), and a TV show (EdMeiller). If I weren’t so lazy, all my comments could probably consist of warped quotes. Which would be a lot of fun.

Pastis only killed his two-dimensional alter-ego. He’ll be back.

That rule about sitting too close to the TV was due to the x-ray radiation pointing straight at the viewers of cathode ray tubes. That doesn’t apply any more.

its all fun and games until pastis gets hurt.

Swimming with a full stomach can make you pretty sick, with muscle cramping, which can make it really hard to swim back.

Sorry folks it’s all my fault, I told Stephan that “It won’t kill you to do a Sunday without a horrible pun.” Never knew how wrong that could be.

“Don’t put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear.”

What kind of fool WOULDN’T believe that it’s dangerous to run with scissors?

xxx

I hope Stephan got the point of all this!

I’m reminded of this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZhdjlvhTWc

Alas, poor Cartoon-Boy. I knew him well, Horatio.

He was a man of many talents, and a sh*t-load of puns. But he just couldn’t run with scissors. Shame. Wonder what strip will hold this slot tomorrow?

Cartoon characters are like Highlanders :immortal

I thought it was an hour u havta wait!

There are many things my mom always warns me about that I don’t believe they’re true. She’s so superstitious!

its 99 comments at the moment and its really annoying so I had to leave one to round it off

Rub some dirt in it! It’s only a flesh wound!

LOL

My mom told me never to talk to strangers… Oops!