Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 15, 2017

What are pillow cases?

You really should wash your sheets anytime you spill beer on your toga.

Maybe that’s not what she meant when she said I’m not getting under those sheets with you.

At least you got her into the bedroom, Paris; that’s progress.

there’s a hidden profane pun in there, isn’t there?

“We’re bachelors, baby !”

Of course sheets are meant to be washed! Why, I wash mine at least twice a year, whether they need it or not!

Maybe she’s one of those girls who don’t take any sheet from anybody?

Sheets and pillowcases, absolutely, but I contend there’s no reason to wash bath towels. Think about it. After you wash them, the only thing they ever come in contact with is the water clinging to you after you’ve made yourself as clean as you can possibly be. How can they possibly get dirty like that?

Well, Goat, the sheet needs to be washed.. no, needs to be flushed, more precisely. Yes, really. No sheet!

Wait… you mean they’re NOT supposed to be yellowed and smell like five years of your own sweat?

Since I use my pillowcases for underwear, they get washed twice a year…my sheets, not so much

I don’t wash my sheets regularly, I beat them on a large rock.This way the bedbugs get discouraged and leave. Soo Sad.

In college, when the sheets began to crack, we would throw them away.

Are you supposed to wash rubber sheets?

I’m finding I’m not normal. I’m realizing I do waaayy too much work by washing my sheets – and pillow cases – every week. I learn so much by reading the comics! Thanks, everyone.

Maybe he could embrace his goatness and go back to a straw bed.

Turn your undies inside out and they’re good for another week !!!

If Da Doctah says so, who can argue?

We be bachelors!

The thing that bothers me about laundry is that it’s never really done. When I schlep down to the washerteria, I’M WEARING LAUNDRY I CAN’T DO!

Sheets should only be washed when they are dirty. I mean REALLY dirty.

It’s a bit OCD to wash them when they have a few little stains on.

xxx

What did Watson say to Mr. Holmes when he discovered a bed linen item missing from the laundry?

“No sheet, Sherlock!”

…its a bachelor thing, baby!

Rat and Pig share a house. Remind me: never, under any circumstances, stay at their house overnight! (Or if I do, don’t let them offer me a guest room bed….)

Well, holy sheet.

A woman in China presented to her doctor with red itchy eyes that had been bothering her for a couple of years. Turns out, her eyelashes were covered in mites. Also turns out, she hadn’t washed her bedding in about 5-6 years.

Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5171665/Womans-itchy-eyes-caused-100-mites-eyelashes.html

What do you wash, Watson? No sheet, Sherlock. https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2003/11/02

Pretty delayed reaction, pig

After reading some of these funny comments, it’s ironic how some Americans mock the French for not using deodorant. [facepalm emoji]