Pickles by Brian Crane for August 31, 2018

good luck using that one when the actual sheriff’s office calls

I like it!

I’ve answered the phone, "Federal Bureau of Investigation, Fraud Division. How may I direct your call?

Other times I’ve answered; "Central County Wrong Numbers. Whom were you attempting to call?

Once when I’d been receiving many calls to the same number (not mine), I answered: "National Weather Service. What city, please?

Sure enough the calling party said; “Santa Cruz.” So I gave them the day’s forecast. I mean the weather for Santa Cruz, CA in July is a no brainer (at least to some one who lives in the SF Bay Area).

Currently I answer; “hai moshi moshi”.

Yes, I know this not the correct way to answer but it’s close enough that telemarketers will just hang up.

I should say; “はい、これはx techです”

Way to go, Earl!

I usually say it’s the F.C.C. or F.T.C. both have the same reaction.

That is just as effective as Seinfeld’s method.

Dave……..Dave’s not here !

I like when I get calls about my “leaky basement”. I live in a 2nd floor walk-up! LOL

“24th Nuclear Missile Squadron, Sgt. Jones, sir this line is not secure.” Used this one a couple of times, shocked silence on the other end.

Over the past few months I have been getting calls from the “IRS Criminal Division” or something to that effect (obvious scam, I know), but it’s an automated call which gives me another number to call to settle my “back tax debt”. I have thought about calling the number just to screw with them, but instead I just hang up.

Ah, that’s what caller ID is for. If I don’t recognize the number, i don’t answer. If it’s legit, they’ll leave a message. Earl needs that feature!

As a Christian, I’m concerned about them, so I’ll ask them, “May I ask you a question?” “Have you reached the point in your spiritual life that you know for certain that you’ll go to Heaven when you die?” If they don’t hang up I’ll ask, “Suppose God were to ask you, ‘Why should I let you into my Heaven’, what would you say?” By now they’ve either hung up or I can explain to them how they CAN know that they can have eternal life. A win-win way to resolve the call.

I love it! Especially since I’m retired from a police department, lol!

Tweeddle?? Yeah, not easy to write out electronic tones . . . .

I’m SO going to do this the next time it’s a person on the other end…

Perfect – we are inundated with telemarketer calls and this is a great response.

What you need is NoMoRoBo. It’s free, and it blocks all those automated calls. With the elections coming up, it’s a life-saver.

“The Dude is not in”.

I MUST try this.

I had someone do this to me… when she called me. My number has been spoofed by scammers, tricking Caller IDs into showing my number instead of theirs. One lady thought I was the scammer. She called me screaming that she was a police officer and she was investigating me. At least she’s never called me back since.

I don’t even answer if I don’t recognize the number. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy!

I absolutely LOVE it! Crane: may I use that one?

That’s my line! I have been using it on “Private” caller ID’s and invariably, the person decides they need to do something else right away. Those who try to talk are interrogated on how they got this restricted government monitored number and asked for their social security number. That usually chases the rest off.

Brilliant !

I’d thought when I moved to Ecuador, I’d escaped those pesky telemarketers and scammers but….noooooo !

I still get the calls – only in Spanish ! I quickly pretend I don’t speak Spanish and talk to them either in English ( that’s backfired when I got a telemarketer who spoke English ) or French – which works every time.

With our phone, the caller has to announce who they are before we accept the call. Cold callers and the like don’t do this and so we aren’t bothered.

A perfect example of why I love Earl.

With Fios you can set up free robo call screening. Catches about 90% of my telemarketing calls.

I wish I could use that, but most telemarketing calls are robocalls.

Yay, Earl! You’re a lot smarter than you look! :)

timbob2313 you can get money back and FREE interest if you pay off your balance every month – it’s called using there money for 30 days for free, pay your bill and you still get that cash back or points whatever your card offers.

Go get em Earl!!!!

When our boys were little, back in the early 2000’s. My husband would find it amusing to hackle the telemarkerts. Especially @ the holidays. He’d hollar for the kids to come to the phone. “Hurry it’s one of Santa’s elves again! They wanna know what you want for Christmas!” Without hesitation, our boys would each get on a different phone & then take turns rambling their wish lists off to the listener, until the line went dead anyway.

Telemarketers…pet peeve..