Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 22, 2018

Al can always start an airport shuttle service.

AND ROOMINESS YOU SHALL HAVE!

He can always live in it, down by the river.

So, he’s ALways ALone, huh?

Maybe he uses it to “do it”.

Good thing Mr. Pastis didn’t put in Mr. Yankovic who is already married and has a kid.

He could be attractive to a woman who has kids if the car is the deciding factor..

You could use it to move junk from your apartment to a mini-warehouse which would make your apartment more attractive.

Yeah, what’s the new mom mobile/soccer mom car these days? I remember the great big station wagons were it. As it seems they had been for decades. As I was entering my teens the mini station wagon was replacing the full sized one as it. That didn’t even last a decade really as by the time I graduated high school the min van already had that reputation. I would have thought certain SUVs had surpassed the mini van as the mom mobile.

Just as no girl becomes a mom by wearing ‘mom jeans’.

Al is a practical guy – no wife, no kids, no friends, but a minivan.

ABYSMAL

Nothing beat the guy that had the “Party Van” in the 70’s………party on Wayne !

Mini vans and fruitcake, in the same category of respect…

But abyss al is a vacuum cleaner. How do you drive it?

My vehicle is a cargo van. I can put a queen-sized bed in it.

I don’t get it.

Drive a 7 passenger Dodge Durango and you are king of the road.

Drive a 7 passenger Dodge Caravan and you’re a pariah.

They still make minivans?

Dan Gurney had one. He said if you got one properly outfitted (which is to say with hardly anything) they could be useful and fun to drive.

One of my driving rules, try not to get behind mini-vans.

Buick has a new Station Wagon for 2019. I want one :)

Yeah but look how many cup holders it has!

My last two vehicles have been minivans. There is enough room to haul 4′×8′ sheets of plywood, and they don’t get wet if it’s raining. I like to build things.

I’m like AL, gotta big Sienna and took out all the back seats so I can camp and shop as much as I want.

“New van; Uber, Al is.” (New business venture for neighbor Al.)

Its probably grey.

I’ve always harbored a secret love of station wagons. Life has not been the same since the demise of the Roadmaster.

Our minivan is useful for hauling my mobility-impaired wife’s walker, wheelchair, etc., when we travel. More and more of my friends are developing mobility problems as we age, too, so it’s coming in handier and handier.

That’s the only reason so many more people are buying SUV’s instead of even more practical mini vans. The manliness factor.

No need to drive home with the chicks just hop in the back of the van. Wink wink, if I’m rocking the van, don’t come a knocking.

I could never bring myself to drive a mini-van…I know, I know; don’t judge…

I’m sitting here, snickering at Neighbor Al and at most of the Commenters here, too. I’m single and I drive a Mini Cooper and am loving it! —Yeah, I know some sad folks call it a “girl’s car,” but it handles better than most and is perky, too, and gets good mileage. And, just to head off this criticism, I’ve had no big mechanical problems at all. It does get attention, too….

I’m late to the party, and rarely comment since someone else has usually made my point, but 14+ hours later, no-one’s mentioned abyssal. Deepest parts of the ocean, permanent darkness, ‘Fallen into an abyssal’ is great wordplay and worth the groan-inducing puns.