Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 07, 2018

We are all getting sheared.

A mallet to Rat’s head is the best solution to this strip’s woes.

This is why I don’t travel.

You screwed up, Rat. Should have had him pocketing some of the items in the luggage.

Would Pastis rather fly with people that weren’t checked for weapons and explosives?

Soon, everyone will fly naked and have to acquire money for clothes wherever one lands. It might make fitting in those tight spaces on planes a bit easier.

That’s why I drive whenever I can. I hate the security theater.

Right on target once again, Stephan.

And he was just trying to cross the street!

If you can afford it, Pre-check or Net Jet are options speed up security!

Hummm….Do you put your safety belt on when riding in a car ? That also is a pain in the butt…..but useful when needed :-)

Airport security can be even more embarrassing when you are disabled

He forgot to ask him is he packed the backpack himself or if it had been out of his sight. Cause for dismissal of the agent.

Nearly everyone complaining about this excess of government interference in individuals’ personal lives wants more, bigger, centrally-powered government.

Trade your freedom for safety, and this is what you get.

Through all that, the TSA guy forgot to say ‘Simon says’!

Having worked TSA for 14+ years, what can I say?

We say of passengers, and I hope passengers say of us, 99% of the people we deal with are wonderful – but, as humans, we only are able to remember the 1% who really drove us nuts!

Though, on the whole, my favorite joke was, we were the most hated federal agency there was – eleven months of the year.

What was the other agency? Bonus: What was the month?

(IRS and April)

The terrorists have won. A single major attack on the US, and we almost begged to give up our rights in the name of safety.

And AGAIN…if I can’t drive there, I AIN’T GOING!!!

Going through Mexican security at the end of a Cabo San Lucas trip, they wanted to look in my checked bag. After I opened it they just stood there like a deer in the headlight until I started moving the stuff around myself. If I had been carrying contraband I could have easily kept that hidden.

On the other hand my clothes & personal property didn’t get tossed all over Hell & half of Texas.

Just wait until you return to Fortress America, they will give you forms to fill out, question you, run the dogs past you and then take you into that little room…

Anybody remember the old poster with the caption, “Sleep Tight America. Your Air Force Is Awake”? (Google it)

That’s why I drive whenever possible.

Apparently, as of yesterday, the law is quite clear on this one: “innocent until proven guilty” is of the utmost importance with regards to high-ranking judges accused of assault by multiple parties, but when it comes to everyday citizens boarding an airplane? Not so much! The same goes for black people who drive cars, make phone calls in their backyard, leave the door to their apartment unlocked, or just generally exist in the presence of a police officer. I guess Dr. Pastis should’ve taken that law degree all the way to the bench… that way, he could probably board without a hitch!

Why isn’t the TSA worried about busses and trains? Or, ships?

Even with these kinds of security checks there’s still the risk that a pilot goes crazy and wants to commit suicide with everyone on board. Background checks are largely useless for avoiding this as well because they only check a persons past and not their future.

Another speech bubble needed: “Notice, your flight is now boarding.”

Science flies people to the moon. Religion flies planes into buildings.

Planning a trip where we will have to do this a total of 7 times. TSA is a necessary evil I suppose. I’m just glad history didn’t repeat itself. 1 person with bomb in shoe, now everyone has to take off shoes. 2 years later, 1 person with bomb in underwear, so far we at least get to keep our clothes on.

BART’s new security program – just to get into one of its housing projects.

Black men don’t need to go all the way to the airport to be treated like this.

Abolish the TSA rent-a-thugs! The “security” they pretend to provide is non-existent. Rant. Rant. Rant. If the TSA had ever provably prevented a real terrorist attack, instead of strip-searching and foundling disabled grandmas, they might not be so hated….

methinks he now rides in a private jet. Need a good pilot, Stephan?

Baahhhh

our current TSA situation was predicted in the 1970s by the movie Airplane! in this movie, several tactically equipped military personnel enter the plane through the gate carrying everything from m16s to bazookas. then a normal appearing elderly woman walks in and is immediately tackled and searched.

I read that it was 1,000,000 : 1 chance that there would be a bomb on any given flight. Then I read that it was 100,000,000 : 1 that there would be two bombs on the same flight. So, now I always fly with a bomb for safety.

Umm it’s kinds true

I flew back from Hawaii yesterday! It felt totally like this! We had packed a swiss army knife, and forgot it in our backpack. We thought we were goanna get arrested! I understand, though. If we HAD been someone bad, then they wouldn’t have made it to the plane.